Baby alive feeding set
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Baby Doll Diaper Bag Set, Doll Feeding Set with Baby Doll Accessories Includes Doll Bottles
The New York Doll Collection
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The New York Doll Collection
Baby Doll Diaper Bag Set, Doll Feeding Set with Baby Doll Accessories Includes Doll Bottles
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- E165 Doll Accessories
Now: $14. 99
Size:30 Pack Young caregivers will love this complete set of Baby Doll
Accessories to "parent" their first baby dolls! Children can attach the Doll
bib and feed their babies with bottles, spoon, spork, divided dish, Use the
Doll Pampers to clean up your doll and when ready use the Doll Training Potty
to toilet train your doll. A Doll Pacifier and other Baby Doll Accessories are
also included. When finished playing kids can easily store all pieces in the
provide easy zip close storage bag.This complete doll care set makes it easy
to keep a pretend nursery well-stocked and organized, while promoting
language, imaginative and pretend play, and encouraging young kids to develop
- 28 PC Baby Dolls Diaper Bag with Baby Doll Accessories - Includes doll bottles and accessories
- Doll Milk Bottle, Doll Potty with Doll Diapers all come included in this Mega Set
- Enjoy hours of Pretend Play with a Huge assortment of toy doll bottles and accessories
- Great baby doll Accessories set for Stella Baby Doll,my sweet love baby doll, my first baby doll, corolle baby Dolls and other Baby Dolls
- Manufactured by THE NEW YORK DOLL COLLECTION - Safety tested and non toxic. safe for kids
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Future parents do something completely different Alexandra Anykina
Women who are expecting the birth of a child often understand the preparation for his birth mainly as buying diapers, undershirts, diapers, choosing the most comfortable stroller, the most beautiful bed . .. And when a child is born, it turns out that the presence of a beautiful crib is not at all a guarantee that the child will sleep in it; that for some reason the child does not take the breast, although there seems to be milk; that a child can cry, even if he is dry and well-fed ... And young parents are horrified to understand that they have no idea what to do with this little creature at all. At the same time, you can find answers to most questions - and you need to - even during pregnancy.
About what future parents need to know before giving birth and what things a baby really needs, we talked with perinatal psychologist, breastfeeding consultant, author and leader of the "Be a Mom" course Alexandra Anykina.
There is a widespread opinion: there is no need to go to courses for pregnant women, it is a waste of time and money. After all, they gave birth before without any courses and raised children using the intuition and experience of grandmothers. You can’t learn everything in advance, theory is one thing, and a living child is another. We'll figure it out along the way. And it’s just stupid to prepare for childbirth: no one knows how they will go, but no one has left the hospital for pregnant women, so the main thing is to trust the doctors.
Indeed, sometimes this is exactly what happens! Childbirth is easy, the baby is breastfeeding, there is a lot of milk, everyone sleeps at night - an idyll. I have met such families. Twice. Or not, three. Every time I caught myself in a shameful feeling of envy.
Unfortunately, problems often arise in a family with a newborn. It happens that the birth seems to be normal, but after that the mother finds out that, it turns out, a caesarean could have been avoided, that the baby could be in the hospital with her in the ward, and so on. Mom bites her elbows: "If I knew in advance." At the very first attachment of the baby to the breast, everything is also not always smooth: he does not suck, or sucks sluggishly, or it hurts his mother, or . .. there are a lot of options.
But the most fun starts at home. The baby does not want to sleep in his wonderful white bed from Ikea. And he doesn't want to sleep in a wheelchair. He wants to constantly be in his mother's arms, suckle the breast for an hour, then fall asleep for ten minutes and suck again. What's the matter? Little milk? Milk "empty"? Mom "non-dairy"? And how to cut your nails, they are like a film? And what kind of rashes on the face is an infection? He also seems to have a runny nose. And in his sleep he snores strangely, did he catch a cold?
And then it turns out that a young mother is surrounded entirely by breastfeeding specialists, pediatricians and child psychologists. The mother-in-law says that all the problems are due to the fact that the baby was taught to use her hands - it was necessary to immediately teach her to sleep in bed. The husband reads on the Internet that you need to weigh yourself before and after feeding. Even grandfather is involved: he knows that a baby cannot be put to bed with him, because he can easily be crushed and suffocated, before in the villages this often happened . ..
A young mother is nervous, does not sleep, listens to advice, reads forums, calls her friends. Of course, all issues will be resolved over time, the children will grow up, and those first months or years will be forgotten. But what a shame that so many nerves and forces were spent on such trifles! That mother, instead of enjoying communication with the baby and her new position, is engaged in such stupid things as boiling water for bathing, crying because of slow weight gain and listening to a reprimand from the health visitor for smearing her baby’s navel with brilliant green in the wrong way.
That intuition, which the opponents of courses for pregnant women rely on, for some reason does not work. And it is clear why: most often, current mothers see the baby for the first time, having already given birth to him. They had no experience of raising younger siblings, they were only children themselves. And if they were, then they were not allowed to care for the baby. The advice of grandmothers is also of little help. The advice of the mother-in-law (“You overfeed him! He has a stomach ache from overeating! You need to feed every three hours, not more often!”) Absolutely contradicts the advice of the mother (“The child is hungry! You are “non-dairy”, now such good mixtures, let me buy ” ). And this is also not surprising: the traditions of caring for babies were the same in the villages, but in the USSR they were already completely different. At the same time, the approach to raising babies in the USSR was not at all aimed at their well-being (especially mental) or at the comfort of a young mother, but only at the fact that this very mother would go to work as soon as possible and send the child to a nursery (I am always surprised how some women still managed to breastfeed with the recommendations “wipe the nipples with boric acid”, “feed every three hours”, “do not give breasts at night, but give water”, etc.).
Most of the advice that a young mother receives from those around her in the first years of motherhood is based precisely on the Soviet approach. But there are other sources, say, the feminist movement, which is reflected in foreign books on parenting. Many of these books are now hits on the Russian market, for example, the book "French children do not spit food" with its recommendations to approach a crying child not immediately, but after five minutes. A good child psychologist will make the hair on his head rise from such advice.
Let's add here various theories about how to raise the most developed child: preferably, according to some Japanese, Chinese or German method. How, don't you know that babies need to be shown black and white cards, otherwise their eyesight will develop poorly? Don't you know that "it's too late after three?!" It is necessary to educate while lying across the bench.
Forums and communities for mothers are also full of numerous disputes around almost any issue related to babies. What helps with colic? And a hundred pages of text, tips, examples, scary stories. In the head of a young mother, confusion finally sets in, which interferes with her, frightens and distracts her from the main thing - from the child. My main advice to pregnant women - do not read these forums! Life will be easier.
What do women often do during the eighth or ninth month of pregnancy, what do they come up with at the time of delivery? A few read books, for example, about those same French children or the works of Dr. Komarovsky, many read magazines for pregnant women (which, by the way, simply amaze with their lack of content and the amount of advertising for goods that are unnecessary for a baby). Almost everyone has already chosen a stroller - and they are ready to literally spend hours talking about how difficult it was to choose, how many descriptions of models were read and which one they bought as a result. Many people are concerned about the issue of dowry: do I need a cocoon for sleeping? and the envelope for the statement is outdated or is it still needed?
Let me tell you straight away: the issue of choosing a stroller is a matter of tenth importance, which can be relegated to the background. Because, to be honest, strollers are all the same. Especially those, the first, recumbent, up to six months needed. It is on their choice that the main supply of forces of the pregnant woman is spent. And the forces will come in handy, how!
So, what is the best thing to think about in advance, so to speak, “on the shore” while waiting for your first child? What decisions should we make if we want to simplify both childbirth and the first months with the baby as much as possible?
A child's dream
A terrible and terrible dream. Just kidding, just kidding, maybe you'll be lucky and your baby will sleep as prescribed in the child care books. But in reality, 95% of babies don't sleep the way moms would like and the way all pregnant couples expect — staying up all night. I started with this topic precisely because if they at least write about breastfeeding on different sites and teach in courses, then the mother, as a rule, will find out about the features of children's sleep after months of lack of sleep and nerves. I will not now give a detailed description of the sleep of newborns, but I urge you not to lose sight of this topic, read and learn the basic things. For example, that children's sleep differs from adult sleep in that most of it is superficial sleep, that is, the child wakes up easily and often. This is an evolutionary mechanism - to constantly watch so that you are not forgotten in the winter forest, to check if your mother is nearby. The sleep cycle of a newborn is 40 minutes. At the end of the cycle, the baby wakes up and needs mom's help to move on to the next phase. Mom either breastfeeds, or shakes, or simply “hisses” (quietly says “shhh”) - and then there is a chance that the baby will fall asleep again.
It is also very important to know the signs of infant fatigue. It is important to understand that they need to be specially put to sleep every hour, then every two hours - do not expect the child to fall asleep on his own! The time during which the newborn can be awake should not exceed 50-60 minutes, otherwise the mother will have "overkill", fatigue and crying.
One must know that too much sleep can be a sign of illness. Normally, a baby sleeps continuously for no longer than 4-5 hours a day. If you are lucky and your baby sleeps longer at night, then monitor the amount of milk - after all, it is sucking from 4 to 8 in the morning that stimulates its production the next day, and if the baby sleeps at this time, then the milk can “leave”.
I am very saddened by the fact that a huge number of people are now making money on children's sleep, that is, teaching babies "to sleep properly." As a rule, it all starts with humane methods: mothers are told the theory of sleep, how much and how much the baby should sleep. Then they use various methods of lulling without mother's help - after all, if you give a breast every time the child wakes up, he will get used to it, and so the mother will not sleep at night before the army! And if this does not help, then the mother is told that her baby is not learning, he should be left to cry. Not for long - first for a minute, then for five. Mom, convinced that the child will not be able to develop normally if he sleeps little - and it really seems to her that he sleeps little, because he often wakes up - clenched her teeth, listened to screams, endured, but did not enter the room where the baby was crying. I know those who sobbed, sitting under the door, but did not enter. This method works for all children - just someone screams for one night, and someone for a month. But no one tells mom why it works. I will not even talk about the loss of basic trust in the world. The point is simple physiology: the baby's body works at full capacity, first of all, for the growth and development of the brain. And since breast milk is digested quickly - sometimes, if the baby sucks slowly, then it is digested directly "online", then once every hour or two the baby may want to eat. He cries - mom does not go, they do not give breasts. Crying more - and the brain receives an alarm signal: there is no glucose and will not be, we go into energy saving mode. And the child falls asleep. Is this the kind of sleep you want? And if we take into account the research data that it is during night sucking that the brain grows, then the use of these methods seems to me absolutely unacceptable.
What else needs to be clarified in advance, before the birth - how the baby's sleep will be organized, that is, where the baby will sleep. There are three options: in a separate room, in your own bed - but in your parents' room, in your parents' bed. The first option leads to early curtailment of breastfeeding, and sometimes dangerous. The place of the baby next to the mother, so nature decided. But from the last two options, mom can choose - and it's better not to do this in advance. I know many cases when a mother, even before giving birth, decided that the child would sleep separately. And, fulfilling the plan, she courageously got up to him hour after hour, night after night, until she brought herself to the handle. After all, mom's sleep cycle is 90 minutes. And as soon as she falls asleep soundly, the baby wakes up. There is evidence (albeit from a scientific study of one case, but the experience of many mothers confirms this) that when sleeping together, the sleep cycles of mother and baby are slightly synchronized, the mother sleeps more superficially, sensitively, but wakes up easier. And we must remember that the hormones that are produced during breastfeeding make it easier for women to endure lack of sleep for a couple of years. It sounds harsh, but nature is smart, smarter than us.
Learn about co-sleeping safety. Do not believe those who believe that falling asleep in your arms and with your chest is the source of all sleep problems. Buy a baby crib and move it to your bed, try different options. Do not kick dad out of bed - it is fraught. Sleep so that you get the most sleep. Always sleep in your baby's first naps during the day to make up for sleep deprivation at night. After two years, even badly sleeping children begin to sleep well, their sleep cycle lengthens, and parents breathe a sigh of relief.
The second issue that causes a lot of difficulties for new mothers is breastfeeding. I won't be focusing too much on protecting breastfeeding right now. Most often, pregnant women want to breastfeed (this is called "being breastfeeding in mind"), they have heard that it is useful and necessary. Rarely, there are cases when the expectant mother does not want in advance or even disgusted to imagine that she will feed. Here you need to figure out what the reasons are, whether they are psychological or whether the matter is in the received incorrect information. So, the majority wants to feed, however, according to various statistical tables, in Moscow and the Moscow region only 30% of women feed for up to a year.
What happens to the others? 90% of problems with breastfeeding arise from ignorance of basic things: how milk is produced, how often and for how long you need to feed in order to have enough milk, what are the criteria that a child is full, how to understand that he does not have enough milk. All this is not difficult, there are good books, excellent sites on the topic. At the courses, expectant mothers are shown how to feed, they talk about what problems with the breast can arise, what to watch out for in order to avoid trouble.
Sometimes there are also funny situations: for example, one young mother once complained to me about the lack of milk with a strong desire to breastfeed. I went through the options in an attempt to understand what the snag could be, but I thought to myself that she needs to call a consultant at home - after all, not all problems can be solved over the phone, very often the essence of the problem is how exactly the baby takes the breast, how he sucks, this is a must see. And suddenly, during the conversation, it turns out that she feeds the baby "by the hour", as it was accepted in the USSR and as many pediatricians still advise to do. That is, she gives the baby a breast every three hours. It's like walking through puddles in sneakers and being surprised that your feet get wet all the time.
The classic situation that leads to the transition from breastfeeding to bottle feeding looks like this: a woman gives birth without being prepared for possible problems, hoping that everything will be fine, the hospital will prompt if questions arise. She has no experience, she has seen breastfeeding only briefly, she thinks that there is nothing difficult about it. Unfortunately, in Russia there are no consultants on breastfeeding in maternity hospitals, and what nurses know about it is often surprising in its archaism. The baby is not brought immediately, but often they are also supplemented with a mixture (without the knowledge of the mother!) And they bring a full one. He either does not suck, or sucks in such a way that it hurts, redness or other injuries occur. Even if the chest is in order, then at home it begins to seem that he is hungry.
The maximum number of cases of curtailing breastfeeding and switching to formula occurs at the time of the pediatrician's verdict "the child is not gaining enough weight!". Indeed, mom looks at the weight gain schedule on the Internet and panics - the baby is starving, she has little milk! Mom was not told that these schedules were compiled based on the results of observation of children who were bottle-fed. “Supplementary feeding” with a mixture begins, and in most cases this ends in a month with the complete completion of the breastfeeding. Very often, the initiators of the transition to the mixture are, oddly enough, dads. Seeing how the wife suffers, trying to establish feeding, they try to protect her. Yes, and they themselves were often fed formula in childhood, but they grew up big and strong, so what's the problem? And dad goes to the pharmacy for a magic jar. So there are 30% who are lucky enough to feed without any problems.
So, what should expectant mothers know about breastfeeding in advance? GW arises precisely because of the wrong).
In addition to knowing all this in advance, you also need to have the phone number of a person who can be called in case of problems. Let it be a friend-tested lactation consultant. It sounds doubtful, I agree, but now such specialists are needed - they replace our grandmothers, midwives and aunts, who used to prepare a girl for motherhood in one way or another throughout her pre-married life.
Another range of issues that arise when an infant is brought home from the hospital is related directly to the care of him. When can you bathe? Is it true that you need to bathe in cool water? And how cool should it be? What to add to water? How and what to smear the navel? And the magazine says that you need to wash your ears and nose with sticks, but I'm scared - they are so small ... How long to walk? And a hundred thousand more questions. And this is completely understandable and normal.
The unpreparedness of a woman in this topic compared to the two above is trifles. Well, it will bathe like this, and not otherwise. Well, add potassium permanganate or calendula to the water. Well, then she will anoint with cream, as the baby's skin will begin to dry. Unprincipled. The question is how much effort the mother will spend on this necessary "care". Advertising does not sleep: there are so many cosmetic products on sale now, there are so many devices, your eyes run wide! And how much information about the need to show black-and-white cards already a month! I know moms who read books to their newborn instead of drinking coffee at this time.
In reality, a baby only needs clean, unboiled water for bathing, and soap only occasionally, no more than once a week (excluding washing, of course). And that's it! As the now popular pediatrician Dr. Komarovsky rightly noted: “Most of the health problems in the first year of a child’s life are associated with overheating.” And this is true! So if the baby's butt turns red, first of all you need to lower the temperature in the room. Also, the air must be moist.
A healthy child usually does not need any jars of trendy creams. And even more shampoos. He does not need to wash his nose and ears, he only needs to be bathed for pleasure, because he will not get dirty soon - he will crawl, he will get a brush from the toilet - then you will wash it. In the meantime - only a dirty ass.
I want to make the life of a young mother as easy as possible by telling her that, in general, a baby needs nothing but to be in her mother's arms, listen to her voice and see her face. He does not need to walk, but his mother - then, and for how long, as much as she wants. He does not need any special "development", except for his mother's strokes and the feeling of her skin on his own - it has been proven that skin-to-skin contact helps to develop, including premature babies.
The situation is similar with a dowry for a baby: despite the active circulation of huge lists of necessary things on Internet communities, there will be very few purchases that are really necessary. The rest is optional. So, definitely useful:
- Air Moisturizer
- Stezlolian armchair
- Car seats
- Belief and pregnancy
- SLASS (SIME Night-Squint (Simple
- Little-Vaty Castles, Vaty Cutles tube), alcohol for navel, thermometers for air and water
- Baby powder
- Wet wipes
- For bathing - circle or cap
- Diapers - disposable and regular
- Clothes: not enough! It is best for a child to be naked in general, but on his mother. But you also need to please your mother. So - slips, undershirts. Overalls for the street, a plaid, a hat for the street, warm booties on your feet.
Why does he cry
The crying of a child is a brilliant invention of nature. After all, it was necessary to create such a sound that permeates the surrounding space through and through, penetrates directly into the brain and is completely, absolutely unbearable?! For an inexperienced mother, the cry of her baby in the first days sounds the same and incomprehensible, it often causes panic, and the light “he is hungry” immediately lights up in the mother’s head. But in a month, she will learn to distinguish between types of crying: this is how fatigue sounds, this is pain, this is hunger, and it's just a desire to be in her arms.
Therefore, at first, I suggest trying different responses in response to crying: the baby groaned (it’s better not to cry loudly), the mother comes up, catches the eye, strokes, “hisses”. Doesn't help - picks up. Does not help - wears, shakes a little. If she has been breastfeeding longer than half an hour ago, she offers the breast. If you have just fed - probably something else is here, for example, air has got in, and you need to help release it by wearing it vertically. Very young babies grunt when they want to go to the toilet, you can help them, hold them over the sink. Or maybe the baby is already wet, and it is unpleasant for him.
Always remember that crying is not "whims and manipulation." This is the only way to let mom know that something is wrong. And if the child cries, then ignoring will only harm him.
Very often, in the first six months of a child's life, his crying is attributed by doctors to colic. And then - on the teeth. We call colic the condition of healthy children, in which they scream for a long time and for no apparent reason, while it is very difficult to calm them down. To be honest, the cause of infantile colic is not known for sure. It is assumed that the immaturity of the digestive system lies at the heart of the problem, but the final answer to this question is a matter for the future.
However, before you decide that your baby has colic, you need to make sure. There are a number of criteria. Specialists usually focus on the “Rule of Threes”.
- develops during the first three weeks of life;
- lasts three or more hours a day;
- repeated at least three days a week;
- lasts at least three weeks;
- disappears at about three months of age.
Parents should look out for the following symptoms:
- Long-lasting strong cry, sometimes up to 3-5 hours a day. In the intervals between episodes of crying, the child behaves absolutely normally.
- Often attacks of screaming begin at the same time, as if by the clock. Usually this "holiday" begins in the afternoon, in the late afternoon.
- Shouting, children often emit gas, pull their legs up to their stomachs, strain them.
If your child really has colic, then you can study this issue in more detail, for example, on the forum of the Russian Medical Server.
What else to prepare for?
What else you definitely need to prepare for is changes in family life. If before that a woman bought and cooked food, then you need to imagine for a moment that perhaps the baby will be “tame”, refuse to sleep on his own and will demand a breast once an hour. Where will the products come from in this situation, and how will food be made from them? Fortunately, now there are different options for solving this issue: from food delivery to companies offering ready-made kits for preparing three meals a day.
It is optimal, of course, that the young mother is not alone in the first 2-3 months. Okay, at least a month. Discuss in advance with grandmothers how they see their help to a new mother. “Let me hold him, and you wash the floor” is a bad option, we cross it out. Better like this: “Here, daughter, I brought borscht, I will hold the baby, and you will eat.” Ask your friends for help, instead of a cool baby shower party, have each one bring food once a week and let you take a shower.
Of course, the birth of a child has the strongest effect on the husband-wife couple, who from now on and forever will become mom-dad. Future fathers often experience the stage of waiting for a child with excitement, feel lost. What to advise them? It is not necessary to know in detail the details of caring for a baby, but it is necessary to imagine what will change in the life of the family and where your place of application of efforts may be. Dad needs to know in advance that all the energy of a woman - including erotic - will go to the baby through tenderness, hugs and breastfeeding. Lack of hot food at home, permanently dirty floors and little (or no) sex - all this is easily experienced by active loving young couples, but more often it is these everyday things that cause difficulties. Speak, speak, discuss! It's so simple, but it works.
But most of all, of course, a woman's life changes after childbirth. Often mothers underestimate the scale of the upcoming changes and are completely unprepared for what awaits them. Indeed, in our culture - in magazines, advertising and social networks - young mothers are always with manicures, styling, rolling their Bugaboo along the sidewalk and smiling at the camera. And the signature: "I'm going on a date with my beloved husband." But in fact, mom spends the whole day in a nightgown, washing her hair turns out to be a big holiday, bewilderment on her face: “why didn’t anyone warn me that it would be like this ?!”.
I am often asked how to mentally prepare for change and at the same time not panic about “life is over”? The main thing here is not to build illusions. Life, in a sense, is truly over. A life where you could sleep through the night or, conversely, not come home at all. A life where your body was yours, there were no seams and stretch marks, and beautiful bras adorned your chest. A life where there were dates, work, friends and travel. Don't trust social media. Yes, there are calm sleeping children - be lucky, but it's better to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. After all, a new life will begin. A life where there will be so much love as you did not know before. A life where you learn to enjoy the snails and the wind all over again. A life where you see your husband in a new role and realize that you have never loved him more.
Get ready for childbirth, get ready for life with a baby, this will make your first year of marriage very easy. Good luck and easy delivery!
Prison of creativity - culture : otrageniya — LiveJournal
Wikipedia reveals an original contradiction in itself, offering a definition of the word "culture". Warning about the versatility of this concept, she nevertheless says: "Culture is a set of codes that prescribe a certain behavior to a person with his inherent experiences and thoughts, thereby exerting a managerial impact on him." And immediately after: "The source of the origin of culture is thought to be human activity, knowledge and creativity." That is, he thinks creativity is the source of a set of codes, managerial influence, certain behavior, restrictions and prescriptions? Like, flight of thought and freedom of expression? And this despite the fact that it is impossible to count the number of aphorisms and sayings with the same idea - creativity begins beyond the "impossible". Crossing this threshold. I will not take on the functions of Wikipedia, but I will give this concept - "culture" a more capacious definition, leaving only the substantive essence in it. Culture is a complex of taboos and prohibitions.
Looking into the way of life of some Malaysian tribe, into the structure of its worldviews, into its rituals and traditions, we see a certain culture behind all this. It has its own characteristics, individual properties and specificity. Their earthenware pots have a peculiar shape, and the painting on them is different from all other pots painted around the world. However, through the patterns of traditional ornament, an obvious question begins to shine through: how did these guys have the patience for centuries, and sometimes millennia, to sculpt pots of the same shape and paint them in the same way? And then the question loses its meaning, because everything is taboo and forbidden. There is a canon. Make a pot of a different shape, and the water in it will spoil, and the rice will be eaten by mice. Make a mistake in the line on the pattern, and evil spirits will break through its magical protection, and it will not show enough. Ritualism is found in the rudiments of culture, but not the pangs of creativity. The appearance of a canon, a mandatory norm, is the first sign of a starting art. Taboo becomes canon. Canon into tradition. Tradition into culture.
Where, as a clear example, "Celestial Empire" shows us, enriching the world with the expression "Chinese ceremonies". Tradition in this bureaucratic society was its core. Learning any craft or art consisted in relentless copying of ancient patterns, where any innovation was perceived as a distortion and was rewarded with a blow of a stick on the back. Inventions, except for the most useful ones, were destroyed and forgotten; social structure, thought, way of life - everything was endlessly duplicated and self-copied. Any deviation from the canon was considered a violation of virtue. And the canons existed for everything: for planting rice, drinking tea, filing petitions, weddings, childbirth, visiting prostitutes and feeding carp. Once and for all certain words, gestures, movements, clothes, deeds - for once and for all certain situations. In the most beautiful moments of Chinese history, for example, during the legalism of the Qin era, for an improperly served dinner, they could very painfully kill an entire family for several generations, and for not informing about this dinner, they could finely chop the families of neighbors on the left and right (as for the neighbors opposite, they just told where to go). Of course, life is difficult to bind and hobble completely. But China managed the almost impossible: an area with an initially unthinkable potential managed to lag behind human progress for centuries and then washed itself with blood for a long time, painfully crawling out of the cocoon of the culture of prohibitions. Now China, which has well understood its mistake, on the contrary, is luring the most modern technologies from all over the planet - even GMOs, even cloning, whatever.
What happened in China is one of the extremes of our approach to development. But the general vector of culture was the same everywhere: throughout its history, mankind met innovations and progress with much less enthusiasm than one would expect from rational beings. And all this canonicity and ritualism, all these sets of codes, alas, are very nice to us. They fill us with a sense of security, stability. Looking at some exotic culture from the other side of the world, which is not very understandable and alien to us, we readily recognize its high cultural value and even creative zest (?), If we discern in it the inviolability of the canons, continuous copying and self-repetition from century to century . But practically any innovation, any creativity, going beyond traditions, which are creative in nature, we will brand with vulgarity, moronicity, immorality. Looking at them, we lose our stability, we feel how the ground is slipping from under our feet. The pillars of the universe are crumbling. And in this fear, we also lose the ability to distinguish the energy of creativity from the energy of protest, which is directed against codes, which manifests itself as outrageous, provocative, tear out the eye with contrast and, in extreme cases, the need to add shit to the performance. But almost always both energies are present. In different proportions, different manifestations.
Here you can dig into the reasons for this craving for prohibitions. Since most of the population loves screw tightening as an art. Many people find it especially pleasant when nuts are screwed directly on them. With a blissful groan of masochists, they repeat the word "order" like a mantra and vote with both hands for certificates, veils, muzzles, double seals, favors from the heavenly office and child seats. Finding the reasons is not so difficult if you look, like everything fundamental, in the primitive nature of man, from where these taboos grew.
Child psychologists, observing the behavior of autistic children, have become convinced that most of them can function more or less normally only when all the events around them occur according to the same repetitive ritual. So that the sandals are green and stand from north to south, and there are exactly fourteen raisins in the morning porridge, otherwise the Universe will shake and the sky will fall on the head of a little autistic person. But the most interesting thing is that other children, in general, also prefer order, regime and regulations, although, looking at them, it is difficult to guess about this. The best way to bring a 1.5-5 year old child to whims, tears and tantrums is to break the regime, rearrange the furniture in his room, feed him unusual food and let him do whatever comes into his head. Because young children feel calmer and more secure when everything around them happens according to the usual rules. They love it when they read the same books a hundred times, they play the same games, they review their favorite cartoons, and the joy of recognizing familiar events is much more important for them than new stories and pictures. And only with age do they gradually and carefully learn to appreciate novelties and try the usual norms for strength. And all this because for thousands of years an immutable rule has worked for our species: a living child is an obedient child. A child who blindly copied all the actions of adults and just as blindly obeyed the prohibitions survived much more efficiently than a child who ran out of spite into the bushes and ate the forbidden wolf's bark there. In order to survive on our moderately hospitable planet, it is necessary to strictly observe a huge number of prohibitions: do not stick your feet into the water with crocodiles, do not lick poisonous toads, do not fall headfirst from a cliff. Thousands of such "not" guard our safety, leaving more and more new notches on the psyche. There are, of course, thousands of other "nots" that we don't know about, but they lurk in the dark of night and in the light of day, waiting for us to make a mistake. And it is best to live, huddled, on a small but safe piece of reality, endlessly repeating those actions, of the harmlessness of which we are convinced by experience and knowledge.
Such caution is not unique to humans. All animals on this planet are prisoners of rituals and habits. They go to the watering hole along the same paths, migrate along the usual routes, graze in the same clearings and shy away from everything unfamiliar. Even foragers and predators - scouts by nature - follow strict routes and enter new rooms or new areas on trembling paws and ears flattened.
Do what is not dangerous, familiar and proven, that's actually the whole fundamental basis of our misunderstanding of how the world works. With the passage of time and the obesity of the brain, another very ambiguous thing was added to this provision, which can be formulated as a search for an ideal. This idea arose independently in different cultures, monstrously far from each other, because it was built on the same erroneous conclusions. The Greeks, Chinese, and Egyptians have best preserved the reasoning on this subject.
In a simplified form, they can be stated approximately as follows, taking as an example the ancient Greeks. During the time of the philosopher Plato and with the light hand of Plato himself, the ancient European idea of the nature of things took shape for a long time. In the 4th century BC, people did not have such a historical outlook and saw only what they saw. And they saw that any thing deteriorates over time. Dresses wear out, palaces crumble, knives become dull, women grow stupefied, beautiful young men go bald, and a piece of goat meat left in a basket in two days turns into something completely obscene. The notion that their world was a place where everything was slowly falling apart was common. And here the philosopher Plato sits and contemplates, say, a cucumber (a very popular vegetable in Hellas). He sees that some of the pimples on it grow crookedly, that its tail is gnawed by slugs, that the vegetable has ugly yellowish spots on its abdomen, and that it itself is somehow uneven and slightly watery in taste. Why is cucumber so imperfect? Why did the greatest and most incomparable engineer - the creator of the world, who created such a miracle - leave a bunch of imperfections? For whatever you grab, everything is at random, at random and tyap-blunder. The answer suggested itself. Initially, the cucumber (like Plato himself) was conceived and created perfect, but many years have passed since the creation, and the building began to crumble. People have become small, stupid and ugly, cucumbers have become watery, youths have become naughty, and each new generation is not what it used to be. But there is a world of ideas - a repository of all the blueprints of the universe, where models of ideal cucumbers and wise men, frozen in the stasis of eternity, reside, and on earth we have miserable, degenerate descendants of their original brilliant reflections. But in a person, unlike a cucumber, there is such a wonderful thing as free will. And if you follow the original rules and prohibitions, live as our mighty ancestors lived, refuse any newfangled infection, then you will inevitably approach the ideal, and if you are lucky, you will achieve it. Well, and then what we saw in the "Celestial Empire".
Christians once rethought Plato's ideas, explaining the imperfection of creation by the fall of man, but on the whole they shared his point of view. And the Chinese, and the Egyptians, and the Jews, and the medieval Japanese were unanimous here: for everything in the world there is a certain ideal algorithm, following which you will come to the ideal as much as possible. The one and only truly right way to weave mats, brush your teeth, honor the gods, and smell swede. And all arrogant deviations from the right path are an attempt to shake the pillars of the universe, for which, ideally, it would be worth poisoning with properly trained dogs.
And yet, as we can see, the world does not stand still. But if a person is so paranoidly afraid of everything new and so nostalgic for everything old, then how was development even possible?
If we return to child psychologists, we can find out that any self-respecting child experiences a cascade of behavioral crises at certain ages. The crisis of 2–3 years, for example, is endless “no!” to any proposal and outbursts of aggression. The crisis of 5–7 years is an unwillingness to obey the rules: the child grimaces, becomes stupid before his eyes and refuses to solve the simplest problems, and, among other things, suffers from bouts of deafness - he diligently does not hear what his parents say to him. Almost all children go through such periods. They last from several months to a year, after which the child's behavior levels off. Anthropologists associate these crises with the critical ages of the primitive child, who was let go at two years old, changed into a newborn, and at five or seven years old was finally weaned and released into a relatively independent existence in a family group. Children coped best with this, whose psyche, just at this age, was sharply reorganized to new programs: the child, like an elevator, soared into the sphere of new behavioral and intellectual possibilities and adapted to independence. The most serious breakthrough occurs during puberty, and not only in humans. Teenagers of all animals that are ready to move on to an independent existence behave in the same way: they are curious, persistent, sassy, aggressive, imprudent and prone to break taboos. There is nowhere to go, most of them right now will have to compete fiercely for the right to mate, their own feeding areas, position in the pack, and so on, so that a young person flooded with hormones is forced to give up caution and a lot of prohibitions: who does not take risks, he does not breed.
I agree that teenagers are not really driving progress, science and even art, but it is precisely at the age of teenagers that new ideas are easily perceived and old ones are rejected. And they bring this baggage into a mature productive age. There is no way to get rid of this experience. Although most people will then play back and again dive into a cozy and safe familiarity, but some grains germinate and some canons still begin to stagger.
Modern cultured man is in fact completely unfree, and his happiness lies in the fact that he does not realize how much he is bound by prohibitions. Simply because by nature he is accustomed to walk along a narrow path. Yes, most of us love prohibitions as such. The easiest way to gain a sense of reasonable regularity and security in life is to impose obligations and restrictions on yourself, and then fulfill them in detail. This is even more pleasant than breaking some senseless and boring ban - at least you are guaranteed not to be haunted by a feeling of light guilt. Even more, many love official bans. Not just “not accepted” or “not welcome”, but to a fine, prison and gallows for those who encroached on the sacred order of things. Freedom is when it’s uncomfortable and it’s not clear what to do – not everyone likes that.