How do i get my baby to eat more at each feeding

5 Ways To Help Your Breastfed Baby Get More Milk

Do you have a baby who isn’t gaining weight well or who falls asleep easily at the breast? Is your baby fussy or does he pull off the breast often? Does your baby spend what seems like hours at the breast only to seem hungry five minutes later? Even if you think you have a lot of milk, it may be that your baby is just not able to get what’s there. And if he’s not getting enough, your supply can falter and his weight gain may slow or stall altogether.

Newborn babies typically nurse eight to twelve times per 24 hours ” or every couple of hours during the day, sometimes with longer stretches at night and sometimes with clusters of more frequent feeds (see BellyBelly’s article on cluster feeding). Typically, it takes about 20 minutes per side for a baby to complete a feeding. Remember, this is just the average and your baby will have his own individual pattern, feeding more or less than this norm. A baby’s hunger is much like your own ” sometimes baby just wants a snack, other times he wants a big meal. The most important thing is to watch your baby for hunger cues rather than scheduling feedings by the clock. The best way to know if a baby is getting enough is to count wet and dirty nappies (diapers in the US) ” a minimum of at least 6-8 really wet cloth nappies every day, and 3 or more bowel movements each day.

The other way to know if baby is getting enough is by tracking weight gain. Babies typically regain their birthweight by 10-14 days post birth, and then gain around 170 grams (or 4-8 ounces) per week. Breastfed babies tend to grow rapidly in the first six months, and then more slowly in the second half of the first year of life. When you are tracking weight gain, it can be helpful to use charts specifically designed for breastfed babies (see here). Be sure your baby is being weighed on the same scale every time ” when we’re talking grams and ounces, different scales can be hugely off. The scale should also be sensitive enough to detect these small changes.

If your baby’s healthcare provider has suggested that your baby is not gaining weight well, don’t panic. Weight gain is only one assessment ” you want to look at the whole picture. Is your baby having plenty of wet and dirty nappies? Is he feeding often, day and night? Do you hear swallows as he feeds? Is he active, alert, and meeting developmental milestones? Is he growing in length and head circumference? Is he still on his own growth curve? If your baby seems to be doing well in all these areas, it could be that he is just a slow gainer.

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#1: Let baby set the pattern

Slow weight gain is often a breastfeeding management issue. Feed your baby as soon as he shows signs of hunger rather than on a schedule, being sure he eats at least every two hours during the day and at least once at night. Allow him to finish the first side before switching sides after a certain number of minutes. Be sure your baby is positioned and latched well and is actively transferring milk during a feed. Get help from an international board-certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) or breastfeeding counsellor if you’re not sure.

#2: Try breast compressions

Breast compressions keep baby drinking at the breast and provide extra milk-making stimulation at the same time.

To do breast compressions, get your baby latched and feeding normally. When the milk flow slows and he goes back to the quick sucks, grasp your breast well away from the nipple, squeeze and hold. You should see him start to have longer sucks with swallows as he drinks the milk you are pushing out for him. Hold the squeeze until he pauses. Once he has had a quick rest, move your hand to another location on the breast and repeat. You can continue this pattern throughout the whole feeding session ” when you squeeze and baby doesn’t start sucking and swallowing again, then it’s time to switch breasts or end the feeding.

Breast compressions are typically used after a mother’s milk has “come-in”, but can also be helpful in the first few days after birth to get more colostrum into baby. Breast compression gets a lot more milk into baby without a lot of added effort. Not only is baby getting more calories, but the breast is being drained more effectively which signals that the body should make more milk. The skin-to-skin contact also helps stimulate milk ejections, which tend to be less effective if supply is low or flow is weak.

#3: Consider switch nursing

This is simply switching breasts several times during a feeding rather than just once. When you no longer hear swallows even with compression, switch sides. Keep going back and forth as long as baby is actively getting milk – even if you switch sides two or three times. This keeps baby awake and interested in nursing, and stimulates the breasts to make more milk. It gets more of the fat-rich hindmilk into baby, too, helping with weight gain.

#4: Get close to your baby

Consider infant massage. Research on pre-term babies shows that those who are massaged regularly gain weight better than infants who are not massaged ” and this may be true for full-term babies as well as older babies. Consider going about your day with your baby in-arms ” a sling or soft carrier can help. Spend as much time skin-to-skin as possible, which has also been shown to help with weight gain ” probably because baby nurses more often in those instances. Try co-sleeping (safe co-sleeping tips here) ” milk-making hormone levels are higher at night, and being near baby at night will likely increase the number of night nursings.

#5: Supplement wisely

If your baby’s healthcare provider recommends supplementation, expressed breastmilk should be the first choice. You might try feeding your baby at the breast, then pumping for 5-10 minutes and giving this expressed milk to your baby right away. Pumping immediately after a feeding will provide a greater proportion of fat for your baby, and increased fat and calories can increase weight gain. You can also avoid bottles altogether by using an at-breast supplementer (such as the Supplemental Nursing System, Lact-Aid, or an improvised version as described here). The advantage of these devices is that they save you time (you’re supplementing as you’re breastfeeding, rather than after) and they keep baby stimulating the breast (which is important if your supply is marginal).

While you’re working on better breastfeeding, milk transfer and weight gain, it can be helpful to meet all of baby’s sucking needs with the breast. Any time baby is fussy, offer the breast. Get rid of the pacifier or supplemental bottles (unless medically necessary) so that baby learns to breastfeed well and your milk supply stays solid. If you have concerns about your milk supply, be sure to get help from a trained breastfeeding counsellor or IBCLC. Weight gain issues can be stressful ” especially for breastfeeding mothers who are baby’s sole source of nourishment. Go easy on yourself ” you’re doing the best for your baby.

Also read: BellyBelly’s Top 10 Breastfeeding Tips.

Feeding Your 1- to 3-Month-Old (for Parents)

During your baby's first 3 months, breast milk or formula will provide all the nutrition needed. Doctors recommend waiting until your baby is about 6 months old to start solid foods. Some babies may be ready for solids sooner than 6 months, but wait until your baby is at least 4 months old.

What Changes Should I Expect?

As your infant grows, feeding will change. Babies will start drinking more milk during each feeding, so they won't need to feed as often and will sleep longer at night.

Your baby's appetite will increase during growth spurts. Continue to feed on demand and increase the number of feedings as needed.

Your infant also will become more alert as the weeks go by, cooing and smiling. So there will be more interaction between you and your baby during feedings.

The following are general guidelines, and your baby may be hungrier more or less often than this. That's why it's important to pay attention to your baby's signals of being hungry or full. A baby who is getting enough might slow down, stop, or turn away from the breast or bottle.

Breastfeeding: How Much and How Often?

As babies get older, they will start to breastfeed less often and sleep for longer periods at night. Your infant probably is eating enough if he or she:

seems alert, content, and active
is steadily gaining weight and growing
feeds six to eight times per day
is wetting and soiling diapers on a regular basis

Babies might not be eating enough if they:

don't appear satisfied
cry constantly
are irritable, even after feeding
are not making wet diapers

Call your doctor if you're concerned your baby isn't eating enough.

A few weeks after birth, breastfed babies tend to have fewer bowel movements (BMs, or poop) than they did before. At around 2 months of age, your baby may not poop after each feeding, or even every day. During growth spurts, you may notice that your little one wants to feed more often. This frequent nursing sends a signal to make more milk. Within a couple of days, supply and demand will get into balance.

Babies who get breast milk only should get vitamin D supplements within the first few days of life. Other supplements, water, juice, and solid foods aren't usually needed.

Formula Feeding: How Much and How Often?

Babies digest formula more slowly than breast milk, so if you're bottle-feeding, your baby may have fewer feedings than a breastfed infant.

As babies grow, they can eat more at each feeding and may go for longer stretches between feedings. You'll also notice that your baby is starting to sleep longer at night.

During the second month, infants may take about 4 or 5 ounces at each feeding. By the end of 3 months, your baby may need an additional ounce at each feeding.

It's easy to overfeed a baby when using a bottle because it easier to drink from a bottle than from a breast. Make sure that the hole on the bottle's nipple is the right size. The liquid should drip slowly from the hole and not pour out. Also, resist the urge to finish the bottle when your baby shows signs of being full.

Never prop a bottle. Propping a bottle might cause choking and it increases the chances of getting ear infections and tooth decay.

Should I Worry About Spitting Up?

It's normal for infants to "spit up" after eating or during burping. Spitting up a small amount — usually less than 1 ounce (30 ml) — shouldn't be a concern as long as it happens within an hour of feeding and doesn't bother your baby.

You can reduce spitting up in these early months by:

feeding before your baby gets very hungry
keeping your baby in a semi-upright position during the feeding and for an hour after
burping your baby regularly
avoiding overfeeding
not jostling or playing vigorously with your baby right after a feeding

If your baby seems to be spitting up large amounts, is spitting up forcefully, is irritable during or after feedings, or seems to be losing weight or is not gaining weight as expected, call your doctor. And if your child has a fever or shows any signs of dehydration (such as not wetting diapers), call the doctor right away.

Call your doctor if you have any questions or concerns about feeding your infant.

Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD

Date reviewed: November 2021

12 ways to teach a small child to sleep at night | e1.ru

Marina Rumyantseva — consultant on children's sleep, member of the Russian Society of Somnologists

Collage: Artem Ustyuzhanin / E1.RU, Anna Rybakova / E1.RU

Four years ago, a young mother from Yekaterinburg, Marina Rumyantseva, encountered because her four-month-old daughter stopped sleeping normally. She often woke up at night, haunted her parents, who had to get up to the child 7-10 times a night.

— Until four months old, my daughter slept perfectly. Wherever you put it, there it will fall asleep. But as soon as she was four months old, the baby seemed to be replaced: she began to wake up more often. Everything that worked before didn’t help anymore,” Marina recalls.

Marina herself almost stopped sleeping, fatigue gradually accumulated.

- I was sick in the morning, I was often in a fainting state. I dozed in the morning while my daughter played on the floor, and looked after her with one eye. The lack of normal sleep affected me physically. I was irritable, there was no mood to play with the child after especially difficult nights, says the young mother.

At first, the parents tried to solve the problem on their own, but it didn't work out. Then they turned to doctors for help to rule out the physiological causes of restless sleep.

- In our case, the daughter was completely healthy, but we were still advised to treat with nootropic substances. We decided to take our time and seek a second opinion. At the same time, I began to study the problems of sleep. That’s how I learned that insomnia can be treated with cognitive behavioral therapy, and only if it doesn’t work, turn to medication,” says Marina.

Marina managed to improve the child's sleep without drugs, while she continued to study the features of insomnia more and more deeply. So the young mother even received a diploma as a consultant in children's sleep. Now Marina herself gives advice to young parents on how to return normal sleep to their children, and maintains a blog about healthy children's sleep on Instagram.

We asked Marina Rumyantseva to give some advice for E1.RU readers.

About 50% of children living in megacities experience sleep problems

Collage: Anna Rybakova / E1.RU

— Be prepared for the fact that the first two months the child will often wake up at night. During the day, his sleep will also be erratic. He can sleep for 20-40 minutes, then fall asleep immediately for 2 hours. This is fine. But remember that over time, night sleep should lengthen. You can speed up this process by following some simple rules.

From 2 months I advise you to darken the room as much as possible with thick curtains. So the child will understand that the night has come and he needs to sleep. Of course, the baby will still wake up during the night until he needs nightly feeds. There is no need to turn on the light and start playing with it. Try to feed and lull him in the dark.

A child will never be tired enough to say, “Mom, I want to sleep. Why don't you carry me to bed?" He still doesn't know how to speak. Therefore, it is important that parents themselves make decisions for their child and anticipate the moment when it will be time for sleep.

Remember that the younger the child, the more vulnerable he is. Five extra minutes - and he has already gone too far, overtired. In this state, it will be difficult to lay it down. Usually the child starts screaming, breaking out, and the mother thinks: “He must not want to sleep!” In fact, he wants to sleep so much that he no longer has the strength.

How do you know when your baby is tired and ready to go to bed?

For children under six months of age, signs of fatigue may be “sticking” (looking at one point), touching the ears, nose, yawning. Also watch the child fall asleep: if he fell asleep calmly in 10-15 minutes, then you put him to bed on time.

Be prepared that after six months your baby will be more and more reluctant to go to bed. Children think that sleeping is “boring”.

Cool moist air is another condition for the baby to sleep better. The room should be 20-23 degrees Celsius. Before going to bed, the room should be ventilated so that air circulates through it. I also recommend using humidifiers. Due to the dryness of the nasopharyngeal mucosa, a child can automatically touch his nose with his hands, trying to eliminate the interference, and because of this, wake up.

If during sleep the child constantly snores or breathes frequently through the mouth, this is a sign that you need to contact the ENT. Your baby may have obstructive sleep apnea. It is also called "sleep apnea disease". This is when the snoring suddenly stops and there is a frightening cessation of breathing. After that, the sleeping person snores loudly, sometimes tossing and turning, and then begins to breathe again.

White noise is a monotonous sound recorded at different frequencies. The secret is that it allows a person to move more smoothly from one sleep cycle to another. So sleep becomes more restorative. Usually parents use white noise if loud neighbors live nearby or there is construction going on outside the window.

The volume of white noise must not exceed 50 dB, its source must be at a distance of 2 meters from the crib. Many mothers are afraid that this is loud for a child. Actually it is not. I measured the same sounds (surf, driving car) in real life, and they turned out to be much louder - from 60 to 70 dB.

Parents often think that only boys choose the sound of a moving train or car, but this is not true: girls love them too

Collage: Anna Rybakova / E1.RU

During sleep, you can turn on the sound of a vacuum cleaner, extractor hood, running water in the kitchen, wind, waterfall, flying plane and driving car, etc. The sound is selected individually depending on what the child likes.

In my practice there was a case when a child protested against any white noise. Whatever sound they turned on, he showed that he did not like it. We went through a lot of options, and when we finally turned on the sound of a moving train, it just went limp. Now he only sleeps with him.

Get your baby to bed with a daily routine - a ritual that you will repeat over and over before bed. Every evening you can read a book, then close the curtains, turn on a dimmed nightlight, feed your baby, get a massage, etc. You can turn on relaxing music or white noise. All this helps hyperactive children calm down, especially if there are guests in the house.

Watching TV before going to bed is not rest. At this time, the child's visual analyzer works, and the brain continues to process information. In addition, TV, like phones and other gadgets, is a source of white light. It disrupts the sleep hormone melatonin. Therefore, it is better not to watch TV at least an hour and a half before bedtime. It is also not necessary to arrange Skype calls with grandmothers at this time, so as not to overexcite the baby.

It is advisable to turn off the TV during sleep. Many parents think this way: if the child learns to fall asleep under the TV, he will be able to sleep in any conditions. In fact, this is disrespectful to the needs of the child. It is better to create comfortable conditions for him to sleep so that he can recover as much as possible.

One of the problems of megacities is an excess of lighting. Yekaterinburg has a lot of lanterns and luminous billboards. All this also negatively affects the quality of sleep. In front of my house there is a cafe, and above it is a huge LED screen. It shone very brightly both during the day and at night, and at the same time shimmered with different colors. We had to use blackout curtains to sleep well again until it was turned off at night after someone complained.

If you sleep for a long time during the day, then nighttime festivities may begin at night or in the morning. In this case, the time of daytime sleep should be limited. If the baby sleeps for more than 2-2.5 hours, wake him up and play. At the same time, remember that due to age, the child cannot stay awake all day. He will be tired and will not be able to develop normally.

Try to keep your sleep and wake intervals. However, they may change on a case-by-case basis. So, at 4–6 months, a child can have an average of 3–4 daytime sleeps, at 6–8 months - 2–3 daytime sleeps, at 9-13 months - 2 naps. The later you go to one dream, the better. It is good if this happens between the ages of 15 and 18 months. Make sure that the only daytime sleep is at least 2 hours. This will allow the child to sleep.

The graph shows the average values, which in each case may differ depending on the individual characteristics of the child.

Infographics: Anna Rybakova / E1.RU Otherwise, the child may constantly want to sleep, be nervous, scandalize and disobey their parents due to a sharp increase in wakefulness. It is advisable to keep one dream until the child is 4-5 years old (even if it is very short - 40-60 minutes each). The later you give it up, the better.

The total value of the duration of daytime and nighttime sleep

Infographics: Anna Rybakova / E1.RU

At 4 months, a child may suddenly start sleeping for 30-40 minutes, his sleep is fragmented, he does not get enough sleep. There is a regression of sleep - a kind of developmental leap. The problem is that the child still wants to sleep, but he can no longer do it as before, and he still does not know how to sleep differently.

Many old laying methods become worse and worse with time. Therefore, parents need to take the process into their own hands and change tactics. Try putting your baby to sleep as early as possible to lengthen his nightly sleep (up to 10-12 hours).

When my daughter was 4 months old, we had a classic sleep regression. Perhaps if at that moment we had immediately adjusted the mode and conditions of sleep, many problems with sleep could have been avoided.

Why does the child wake up at night? There can be several reasons: cold or heat, hunger (up to 9–12 months it is quite normal to have nightly snacks), the tummy or teeth are worried, illness, the wrong regimen, accumulated fatigue, overexcitation before bedtime, and more.

Children's sleep is cyclical, it proceeds in waves. The closer the morning, the less its depth and the more restless sleep. Especially if there are errors in the baby mode, then most likely they will appear in the second half of the night.

Another reason is that sleep associations are triggered. This usually happens after 4 months. The baby falls asleep in the arms of his mother, and wakes up in his crib, where he was already transferred to sleep. He opens his eyes, but his mother is not around. He begins to worry: “Where is mom ?!” - and cries.

Experts say that the safest sleeping position for a child is sleeping on the back

Collage: Anna Rybakova / E1.RU

My four-year-old daughter sometimes asks to leave the door to her room open so she can see the light from another room. So she is calmer, and she falls asleep faster. But if at night she suddenly wakes up and does not see the light, she starts screaming: “Who closed the door?” She feels like she has been deceived.

She, like that baby, fell asleep under certain conditions and woke up under different conditions. But she is already four years old, she can speak and express her dissatisfaction with the changed circumstances in words. It is extremely difficult for a small child to do this. He can only show it by crying. But most parents don't understand what that means.

To help your baby sleep peacefully, try putting him to bed sleepy but awake, this way he will wake up in the same conditions as when he fell asleep, and it will be easier for him to fall asleep again without additional help.

Early bedtime is a must for any child at any age. Going to bed early is physiological, because it is caused by the production of certain hormones. In the evening, closer to 21-22 hours, the peak of melatonin production occurs, which is responsible for sleep. In the morning, cortisol is produced, it affects the desire to stay awake. Its peak is at 5-6 in the morning, so parents note that in the second half of the night the child sleeps more calmly.

Try to get your child to sleep by 7:00 pm or 8:00 pm. Then he will get more hours of the deepest and most restorative sleep. From 4-5 months, I would advise putting the baby to bed from 18 to 20 hours so that he has 11-12 hours of sleep. So he will sleep the norm of night sleep and wake up at physiologically active hours.

Early laying has other advantages. Parents have a lot of free time in the evening hours, which they can devote to themselves. One mother whom I consulted once sent me this message: “Marina! I have already managed to do the laundry, watch a couple of episodes of the series, cook dinner and I don’t know what else to do. It's so cool!"

It turned out that motherhood can be completely different, that it is not necessary to suffer, and during maternity leave there may be moments when you can feel like you are on vacation, read a book or watch a series, spend a romantic evening with your husband.

There is such a thing as sudden infant death syndrome. This is when a child dies during sleep for an unknown reason. Approximately one third of infant deaths are due to the fact that the parents did not properly organize the child's bed. For example, a child can suffocate if there are soft objects in the crib (blankets, bumpers) by simply burying their nose in them. A safe crib should contain only a mattress, a taut sheet, and a baby.

If your child sleeps with you, give him a separate place. It's not safe to sleep between mom and dad. The child may roll over several times, fall and end up between the sofa and the wall, suffocate. Clients said that they woke up in the middle of the night, and the child was not around. They began to look for him, and it turned out that he was under the covers - all red, he did not have enough air.

How can I be safe when sleeping together?

Bed rails (net) can be used, which are fixed under the mattress. So you can be sure that the child does not crawl away and does not fall. A contraindication for joint sleep may be overweight of one of the parents (the child may roll in your direction), taking drugs or other drugs that depress the nervous system.

It may be safer to sleep in a side crib that is well attached to yours. The safest sleeping position for an infant is on its back.

Often in the first months after the birth of a child, the mother is deprived of sleep. This leads to the fact that over time she accumulates fatigue. Its resources are gradually depleted. This can lead to postpartum depression.

Sometimes mothers come to me and ask me to teach them to love their child again. They say, “I take it out on my child. I hit a toddler recently because I couldn't control my emotions. Help me learn to love a child again.”

I recommend young mothers not to be shy about asking for help from relatives in everyday life or caring for a child, to try to get more rest instead of some non-urgent things. And if you feel something like this (no joy, everything is annoying, you don’t feel love for the child or you constantly break down on him), you need to restore your resource, because in this state, the mother will not be able to help the baby. In such cases, it is best to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Earlier we published an interview with the Director of the NII OMM Galina Malgina, who told in detail why mothers kill babies and how to save a wife from postpartum depression. You can read it here.

You can choose a comfortable baby cot here.

Cry it out method of falling asleep: controlled crying and sleep

April 24 2019

26 comments

Some people believe that this method of sleep training involves the following algorithm: parents leave the nursery, leave the baby alone, and he cries until he falls asleep. But "cry it out" (CIO) refers to many approaches to sleep training. And most often it is based on the fact that parents allow the child to cry for a certain period of time (usually this is a very short period).

Richard Ferber / photo WBUR

In his book A Child's Dream. The solution to all problems, pediatrician Richard Ferber introduced one of the methods for falling asleep to children, which has become almost synonymous with CIO. He was even given a name by the name of the doctor - Ferberizing. Ferber himself never uses the phrase "cry it out". He's just one of many sleep experts who say crying is an essential part of sleep training for some kids. Most pediatricians agree with him, and the cry it out method really works, helping many families.

Theoretical foundation of the methodology
The basis of CIO is the ability to fall asleep, which your child can learn if you give him the opportunity to do so. The idea is that if your baby gets used to you feeding or rocking him every night before bed, he won't learn to fall asleep on his own. And subsequently, when he wakes up at night, which is part of the natural sleep cycle, he will worry and cry instead of falling asleep again.

Conversely, if your baby learns to soothe himself before bed, he will be able to use the same skill when waking up at night.

It is important to realize right away that crying is not the goal of this sleep training method. However, "cry it out" proponents argue that this is often an inevitable side effect of self-tuning to a child's sleep. In fact, a short-term roar is a small price to pay for all the long-term benefits: a child who goes to bed with a happy smile on his face and falls asleep easily; parents who are guaranteed a quiet night's rest. How do you like this scenario? Do you only dream of peace? Well, you have a chance to change everything.

It is much easier to take a child to bed / photo The Pragmatic Parent

Examples of CIO methods
Ferber is perhaps the best-known expert to advocate the "cry it out" method, but he is not alone. Pediatrician Mark Weissbluth, author of the popular book Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby, says that crying is an integral part of helping some kids develop healthy sleep habits.

Sleep expert Jody Mindell, who wrote the book Sleeping All Night, is called "the kind and gentle Ferber." She proposed her own variation of the technique.

Another paediatrician, Michel Cohen of New York, should not miss The New Foundations of Parenting. He believes that babies as young as 8 weeks old can be left alone in the nursery to cry as much as necessary before falling asleep.

Well, what mom can resist that? / photo Sleeping Baby Book

At the opposite end of the spectrum is the “baby wise” approach of pediatrician Robert Bucknam and his coauthor Gary Ezzo. In their book Wisdom in Raising a Child, they advise not to feed children when they themselves want to. They recommend force-feeding your baby before bed so that he does not wake up at night. In addition, the authors warn that children will definitely cry until they adjust to the schedule proposed by their parents.

It should be noted that the methods proposed by Michel Cohen and Robert Bucknam are controversial and have been criticized by both childcare experts and many parents. Also, these approaches are contrary to the recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics on feeding and sleep. But... There is always a "but".

I wanted to try the Ferber method. How should I do it?
First, wait until your child is ready to sleep through the night, not only physically but also emotionally. Babies usually mature at 4-6 months of age. Ferber does not specify the exact age at which to start applying his technique, since it can vary greatly depending on the individual characteristics of the child. So it's up to you to decide.

The result is worth all your efforts / photo Sleepopolis

If you are not sure if your child is ready, you can always take a “test swim” or discuss it with a doctor. If you encounter a lot of resistance, wait a few weeks and try again.

Step 1. Put your baby to bed when he is sleepy but still awake.

Step 2 Say good night to your baby and leave the room. Let the baby cry for a certain period of time.

Step 3. Return to the room for 1-2 minutes to pet and soothe the baby. Do not turn on the light while doing this. Your voice should be as quiet and soothing as possible. Exit the room again. Despite the fact that he is still awake and even crying.

Step 4. Return to the nursery again and stay with the child a little longer than the first time. Repeat this "exercise", each time leaving the room for a longer time. At the same time, staying in the nursery should not be delayed longer than 2 minutes.

Step 5. Leave the room until the baby is asleep.

Step 6. If your child wakes up again, follow the same procedure, gradually increasing the intervals between visits.

Step 7. Every night, increase the time intervals between visits to the nursery. Ferber claims that in most cases, the child will fall asleep in his room on his own by the third or fourth night. The maximum period is a week.

How long should a child be left alone in a room?
Ferber suggests the following intervals in his book:

First night: first time out for 3 minutes, second time out for 5 minutes, third time and all subsequent times out for 10 minutes.

Second night: leave the child for 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 12 minutes.

Subsequent nights: gradually increase the intervals, taking into account the reaction of the child.

A child must love his bed / photo Kveller

Practical tips for testing the “cry it out” method from parents and experts
Lay the foundation for success. For example, getting ready for bed might include bathing, reading a book, or a lullaby. The child will know exactly what to expect.
Develop a plan. Make sure you and your partner are emotionally prepared before starting sleep training.
Follow the plan. When your child wakes you up at 2 am, you may be tempted to go astray. But in this case, all the work will be done in vain. You can pause the program if you find that your child is simply not physically or emotionally ready.
Get ready for sleepless nights. Schedule your first CIO night when you're not planning anything. For example, if you work all week, it's best to start on Friday.
Be prepared for remorse. What parent can calmly listen to his child crying? This is real flour. Therefore, during periods of waiting, when you leave the nursery, and the child begins to cry, go to another part of the apartment or listen to music on headphones. The first week may seem like hell for you, but try to relax, because when it's over, your family will sleep as soundly as it is peaceful.
Only team work. During waiting periods, do something nice with your partner. Come up with something yourself. If after a while you realize that the baby's crying is unbearable, let your partner take control of everything. Next time you will take over the case, giving your spouse a rest.
Customize the method for you. If you want to try this method but find it too harsh, you can take the gentle approach. For example, you can stretch the seven-day Ferber program over 14 days, increasing the time intervals through the night.
Be prepared for relapses. Don't think that by the end of your sleep training you will solve the problem. Your child's sleep may regress periodically, for example, when they get sick or while traveling.

Reading at night as part of getting ready for bed / photo Chicago Tribune

Does the "cry it out" method work?
For some, this method is just a salvation, because it works the first time. Many parents say that the child continues to cry, but the promised sleep does not come. Then it's time to try something else. It is natural that one method works differently in different families. No one approach to the problem of children's sleep will work the same way for everyone. And even if CIO works with your first child, it won't work with your second.

Parent feedback
"I have two children. The first child never screamed, because before going to bed and during awakenings, we always lulled him, sang, did our best. But with my second child, I decided to try the controlled crying method, and after a night it worked. Today my daughter is a year old, she goes to bed without any problems and never cries at night. My husband was against it, but now our family is happy.” - Lisa.

“My daughter woke up every hour and when she was 7 months old I decided to let her cry. After 3-4 weeks, we completed the sleep training. Now my daughter sleeps about 10 hours a night and loves her crib. And how much energy does she have for games after that! — Samantha.

"My friends are Ferber junkies." They recommended the "cry it out" method to me, and I went against my own instincts. The son was supposed to sleep peacefully in a week, but instead he cried for 3 hours on the third night. This is very individual, and you should not expect that this technique works with all children. — Kelly.

“We tried the Ferber method with our daughter at 6 months old. The first night was terrible. The second one was faster. The third night was worse than the first. Now the daughter sleeps with us and we are all happy. I still blame myself for those three terrible nights." - Loving mother.

Don't believe anyone who says it's easy / photo HuffPost

Why do some people oppose the "cry it out" method?
Many parents and educators say that you should not let a child cry and not respond to his tears in any way. According to them, this can jeopardize the child's trust in his parents and, therefore, his sense of security.

In response to such fears, Ferber says that a child who receives a lot of attention and love during the day can stay on his own at night and cry a little without damage to health or psyche.

“A small child does not yet know what is best for him, and he may cry if he does not get what he wants,” writes Ferber. “If he wanted to play with a sharp knife, you would naturally not give him such a dangerous “toy”, no matter how much he cried. In doing so, you would not feel guilty and would not worry about the psychological consequences. An abnormal sleep pattern can be as harmful to your child as a sharp knife.”

The mere mention of the "cry it out" method can cause heated debate between parents, pediatricians and psychologists. Critics of the method say it can lead to digestive problems and even damage to synapses in the brain. Adherents speak of the ridiculousness of such conclusions. Craig Canapari, M.D., associate professor of pediatrics and director of the sleep medicine program at Yale School of Medicine, laughs: “Honestly, this technique would be really dangerous if babies got brain damage every time they cry. They're crying all the time. I think "cry it out" has a right to exist."

In the end, it is up to you to decide whether this method is justified for your child. In the struggle for survival, all means are good. And if sleep is pleasure, then you have to pay for any pleasure. Someday you will definitely understand that sleep is a plane in which you can always fly business class.

Author http://www.twins.org.ua

I am against this method. It is not in Nature for a mother to make her child suffer! It hurts both the mother and the child.

Do you want your child to fall asleep faster? Develop a specific sleep scenario. For some children, it is even enough to eat, then listen to a lullaby on the phone!

I think that you have children who cannot fall asleep for 1. 5 hours, they simply do not have a script for falling asleep. It works already at the level of instincts!!

I turn on the same music to the child, and it already acts on the level of instincts.

I am teaching my second child (1.2 years old) using this method. Helped right away! From 4 a.m. he sleeps all night without waking up. From 21-8 in the morning. Happiness has no limit. Today is day 11. Somehow there was a strong cry, but fell asleep in one go. The first night is hard. It worked for me with both daughters, but I am convinced that children are different. Good luck to all!

What a terrible technique! A child under 3 years old definitely needs his mother's warmth, hugs, affection!

Good evening, we tried this method one evening, the child never yelled like with this method. Moreover, we still depend on the breast. How can you think of that.

Children falling asleep using this technique, Welcome to IT.

Child abuse? And you have twins and jump with them 24/7.
This will be a mockery of the parents. Even in two with his wife, put them down for 1.5 hours in the evening, then if they wake up at night for 2 hours, they still jump and during the day another 0.5-1 hour. A shameful waste of time.

Basically two camps of commentators.
1 camp, of course, the method is supported and, of course, only enthusiastic comments are left.
Camp 2 has gone all out and basically puts pressure on a few things.
- violation of communication - trust between the child and the parent.
That is, commentators offer to indulge all the whims of their child and take a little something in their hands and calm them down. Well, we have gone through all the stages of this indulgence. From simple words to hands.
In the end, the child (one more attached to his wife, one to me) who is more attached to me simply refused to go to bed at 1.5 years old. And if you put him in bed with a demand, he yells to be picked up. REQUEST! and only with your favorite blanket and nothing else. It is simply impossible to put in a bed, a terrible hysteria begins.
That is, the child has reached the state of manipulation of the parent.
The second child behaves in a simpler way, but in general, in relation to his wife, the same way. It is possible to lay down only after long motion sickness on the hands. My blood, which is attached to me, can only be laid in a deep sleep. It's about an hour on hand.
- the second point that is being actively discussed is tantrums, fainting due to hysterics, mental disorders.
Your mother. Your child can hysteria and cry from anything. From colic at an early age to a thorn in the foot on the beach. Will you wipe your child's drool every time?
I was a mother's boy myself. And until the age of 25, he remained like that, stealing money from his father, and his mother bought cigarettes, fed and clothed him. Until one day he found himself in conditions of survival without papa and mama. After that, the world turned upside down. Now I am a financially secure person, absolutely independent and independent of any circumstances.
I have a wonderful wife and two wonderful children.
What future do you want for your children? That's the way I was before 25 and would probably be the same up to 50? Or maybe you want your children to be independent from an early age and not rush a little on your neck, a little something goes wrong?

The method is stupid, but it works. Stress is really useless for a child, but you don’t torment him week after week. We are talking about 1-3 days of real stress for the child.
We applied this method abruptly and without returning to the room.
1.5 hours we tried to put them down. Then he and his wife defiantly left the room and that was it. Yelled for 30 minutes. Then they slashed.
Yes, the first evening and daytime falling asleep was hard for them.
But each subsequent day they calmed down much faster and already without tantrums, but only with whining. And sleep became stronger and better.
After 3 days of literally this method, children already after 30 minutes sleep a sound and healthy sleep.

I would like to note that our children sleep quite well at night. We spend a lot of time with our children throughout the day. So they are not deprived of attention. At night, if we wake up, we are still rocking in our arms or in the crib if we quickly reacted to whims.

An independent child really learns to control his emotions on his own, falling asleep and healthy sleep for a child is a real necessity.
So to sacrifice 2 days of hard stress and get a child falling asleep on his own or babysitting him for at least 5-6 years is the choice of everyone.
But do not be surprised after 40 years that your child asks for money for a bottle while sitting at the computer and playing toys or sitting in VKontakte. The fault of such upbringing will be only you.

I think for the most part those who have babies of 3-12 months are aroused. The parent of such a baby is hysterical and crying like a knife to the heart. But it passes, believe me. He himself was the same. And I have two of the same age. In my case, if humane methods do not work, I have to resort to radical ones.
Sooner or later you will realize that this is not a way to jump for 5 hours with a baby. It's about 3-4 days, not months.

Here you are, adults, you somehow sleep in silence and in the dark and in a separate room and no one is sitting next to you . .. so why not teach this to a child???
From this, strong personalities are formed and not amoebic little men who spit on everyone and mom runs after them and wipes this drool and apologizes ...
This is normal, you need to teach the child independence - but explain, help, talk. As the doctor writes - “let them cry and come ... make it clear that mom will come anyway, and let them cry again and come and the baby will understand that he is not alone and you can sleep peacefully”
All such straight mothers mothers - give free rein to your children, and they will be calm and happy))

My daughter is 30 years old and is now the mother of a 3 month old daughter. I did not know any methods, but I really needed to go to work in the 90s. At 6 months old, I tried to leave the child alone at 20-30 to fall asleep in the crib. The first days she screamed for 30 minutes, then 15, 10, 5, then she babbled and fell asleep herself. So I made life easier for myself. Nothing, my daughter did not lag behind in development, and in the evening I felt like a free woman. Moms, from six months of the child you need to start loving yourself. Nothing will happen to your child, psychologically speaking. Take care of yourself!!!

I completely agree with the comments, I read the article there, they explain everything more softly, but what is the best thing to do so that the child is better ??

What kind of Kerest just read! Disgusting experiments, nothing more. Instead of providing the little man with peace and confidence that he is not alone and Mom is nearby. Some garbage to do. Let these Americans experiment on each other better

What kind of fashion did they take, as in American films, to leave tiny children in a separate room?

It has already been proven in foreign literature that this method is unacceptable and really harmful to the child. The level of the stress hormone in such children goes off scale and leads to irreversible consequences in the conditions of the formation of the psyche. Moreover, studies were conducted where they found that even if the children stopped crying with this method, as it turned out, this was due to an increased stress hormone and the “freeze or flight” reaction (that is, the children seemed to freeze). This method leads not only to the formation of distrust of the child with the closest people, but also subsequently to low stress tolerance.

It seems that many do not know how to read and understand the essence of the text)) Ferber does not call on parents to torture and make their children faint, but offers a method by which both children and parents can finally normalize night sleep. There is no cruelty here. You need to pause and watch the baby. And if the child does not calm down or the cry of pain / hunger, then you need to take the child in your arms.

This is child abuse. Do you think your parents did this? Remember that little you who was very lonely and scared in the dark in the crib. Remember how you begged your mother to come, stroke, take in your arms, kiss and give protection. Remembered? Don't do this to your children.

He will not fall asleep, but will faint from overload

However, this method is very harmful to the psyche of the child.