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Should i feed my baby everytime he cries


Crying Baby - Before 3 Months Old

Is this your child's symptom?

  • A baby less than 3 months old is crying and you don't know why
  • Crying is the only symptom
  • The type of frequent crying called colic is included
  • For crying with an illness or other symptom, go to that care guide

Causes of Unexplained Crying

  • Hungry Baby. The most common reason babies cry is because they are hungry. They stop crying at the onset of feeding. By the end of the feeding, they are happy.
  • Sleepy Baby. The second reason babies cry is they need sleep. They need their parent to put them in a comfortable position. It may be swaddled and on their back. Then they fuss a little and fall asleep.
  • Fed Too Much. Some babies cry because of a bloated stomach from overfeeding. Unlike gas, too much milk can cause discomfort that lasts a short time.
  • Caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant that can cause increased crying and trouble falling asleep. Breastfeeding mothers need to limit their caffeine intake.
  • Clothing. Being too hot or too cold can make a baby cry. So can clothing that is too tight.
  • Dirty Diaper. Stool is very irritating to the skin. If not cleaned off, it can cause pain and burning.
  • Colic. Colic is the main cause of recurrent crying during the early months. All babies have some normal fussy crying every day. When this occurs over 3 hours per day, it's called colic. When they are not crying, they are happy.
  • Pain (Serious). Painful causes include an earache, mouth ulcers, or a raw diaper rash. An ulcer on tip of penis may also cause pain and crying. These babies cry a lot and are not happy when they are not crying. They need to see a doctor to make a diagnosis. Fever in this age group is serious until proven otherwise. Shaken baby syndrome is a concern.

Myths About Causes of Crying

  • Not Due to Gas. Gas passing through normal intestines does not cause pain or crying. All crying babies pass lots of gas. Their stomachs also make lots of gassy noises. The gas comes from swallowed air. The gas is normal. It does not become trapped nor cause any pains. That's why burping a baby doesn't help the crying. Blaming gas is a myth.
  • Not Due to Spitting Up. Spitting up occurs in half of babies and is normal. It does not cause crying or colic. Heartburn meds do not help crying babies. They also have side effects.

Definition of Colic

  • A lot of crying once or twice per day
  • Usually consolable when held and comforted
  • Acts normal (happy, contented) between bouts of crying
  • The baby is getting enough to eat and is not hungry
  • The baby is not sick
  • Onset most often before 2 weeks of age
  • Usually goes away by 3 months of age (sometimes up to 4 months)

When to Call for Crying Baby - Before 3 Months Old

Call 911 Now

  • Not moving or very weak
  • You think your child has a life-threatening emergency

Call Doctor or Seek Care Now

  • Age less than 1 month old and looks or acts abnormal in any way
  • Fever in baby less than 12 weeks old. Caution: do NOT give your baby any fever medicine before being seen.
  • Bulging or swollen soft spot
  • Swollen scrotum or groin
  • Vomiting
  • Cries when you touch, move or hold your baby
  • Could be an injury
  • Nonstop crying lasts more than 2 hours. Your baby can't be consoled using this Care Advice.
  • Will not drink or drinks very little for more than 8 hours
  • You are afraid someone might hurt or shake your baby
  • High-risk child (such as with heart or brain disease)
  • Your child looks or acts very sick
  • You think your child needs to be seen, and the problem is urgent

Contact Doctor Within 24 Hours

  • Not gaining weight or seems hungry
  • New crying, but your baby can be consoled. Your baby will stop crying, but cause of crying not clear.
  • You are worn out from all the crying
  • You think your child needs to be seen, but the problem is not urgent

Contact Doctor During Office Hours

  • Your baby has never been checked for excessive crying
  • Crying started after 1 month of age
  • Crying occurs 3 or more times per day
  • You have other questions or concerns

Self Care at Home

  • Normal crying in all babies
  • Colic (Excessive crying in a well baby who can be consoled)

Seattle Children's Urgent Care Locations

If your child’s illness or injury is life-threatening, call 911.

  • Bellevue
  • Everett
  • Federal Way
  • Seattle

Care Advice for Normal Crying or Colic

  1. What You Should Know About Crying:
    • Normal Crying: all babies cry when they are hungry. Also, the normal baby has 1 to 2 hours of unexplained crying each day. It is scattered throughout the day. As long as they are happy and content when they are not crying, this is normal.
    • Colic: some babies are very hard to comfort. Some babies also cry a lot (over 3 hours per day). If growing normally and have a normal medical exam, the crying is called colic. Remind yourself that colic is due to your baby's temperament. It has nothing to do with your parenting or any medical disease.
    • Here is some care advice that should help both types of crying.
  2. Feedings:
    • For formula-fed babies, feed if more than 2 hours since the last feeding. For breast-fed babies, feed if more than 1½ hours since the last feeding.
    • Be careful not to feed your baby every time she cries. Some babies cry because of a bloated stomach from overfeeding. Let your baby decide when she's had enough milk. (For example, she turns her head away.) Don't encourage your baby to finish what's in the bottle.
    • Caffeine. If breastfeeding, decrease your caffeine intake. Limit your coffee, tea and energy drinks to 2 servings per day. That's 2 cups or 16 ounces (480 mL).
  3. Hold and Comfort for Crying:
    • Hold and try to calm your baby whenever he cries without a reason. Hold your baby flat to help them relax and go to sleep.
    • Rock your child in a rocking chair, in a cradle or while standing. Many babies calm best with rapid tiny movements like vibrations.
    • Place in a swing or vibrating chair.
    • Take for a stroller ride, outdoors or indoors.
    • Do anything else you think may be comforting. Examples are using a pacifier, massage, or warm bath.
  4. Swaddle your Baby in a Blanket for Crying:
    • Swaddling is the most helpful technique for calming crying babies. It also keeps your baby from waking up with a startle reflex.
    • Use a big square blanket and the "burrito-wrap" technique:
    • Step 1: have the arms inside and straight at the sides.
    • Step 2: pull the left side of the blanket over the upper body and tuck.
    • Step 3: fold the bottom up with the knees a little flexed. Safe swaddling keeps the legs in a straddle position.
    • Step 4: pull the right side over the upper body and tuck.
    • Caution: don't cover your baby's head or overheat your baby.
    • Caution: stop swaddling when your baby shows signs of rolling over. Age limit: 2 months. The startle reflex will most often be gone by this age. At 2 months, transfer to a sleep sack with the arms out.
    • Read the book (or view the DVD),"The Happiest Baby on the Block". Both products are authored by Dr. Harvey Karp. It is a good resource on how to calm fussy babies.
  5. White Noise for Crying:
    • Swaddling works even better when paired with a low-pitched white noise. Examples are a CD, vacuum cleaner, fan or other constant sound.
    • Caution: avoid making white noise too loud. Reason: risk of hearing damage.
    • Keep the white noise on any time your baby is crying.
    • When your baby is awake and not crying, keep your baby unwrapped. Turn off the white noise. Reason: so she can get used to the normal sounds of your home. For details, view Dr. Karp's DVD.
  6. Falling Asleep on their Own:
    • Often babies cry because they need to sleep. If over 2 hours have passed since the last nap, this probably is the reason.
    • You have tried different ways to comfort your baby. You fed him recently. Nothing you do seems to help your baby relax. So, now, it's time to get out of the way.
    • Swaddle your baby. Place him on his back in his crib. Turn on some white noise or soothing music. Then, leave the room.
    • Let your baby fuss until he falls asleep.
    • For some overtired babies, this is the only answer.
    • Try to prevent an overtired baby. If your baby has been awake for 2 hours they often need sleep. Help them fall asleep before they become fussy.
  7. Encourage Nighttime Sleep (Rather Than Daytime Sleep):
    • Try to keep your child from sleeping too much during the daytime.
    • If your baby has napped 2 hours or longer, gently wake him up. Play with or feed your baby, depending on his needs. This will lessen the amount of time your baby is awake at night.
  8. Warning: Never Shake a Baby
    • It can cause bleeding on the brain. Severe brain damage can happen in a few seconds.
    • Never leave your baby with someone who is immature or has a bad temper.
    • If you are frustrated, put your baby down in a safe place.
    • Call or ask a friend or relative for help.
    • Take a break until you calm down.
  9. What to Expect:
    • The right technique should start to reduce the crying. You may have to try several things before finding the best method.
    • The crying should start to decrease to about 1 hour per day.
    • Colic peaks at 4 to 6 weeks. Colic gets better after 2 months of age. Most often, it is gone by 3 months.
  10. Call Your Doctor If:
    • Your baby starts to look or act abnormal
    • Cries nonstop for more than 2 hours
    • Your child can't be consoled using this advice
    • You think your child needs to be seen
    • Your child becomes worse

And remember, contact your doctor if your child develops any of the 'Call Your Doctor' symptoms.

Disclaimer: this health information is for educational purposes only. You, the reader, assume full responsibility for how you choose to use it.

Last Reviewed: 11/07/2022

Last Revised: 01/13/2022

Copyright 2000-2022. Schmitt Pediatric Guidelines LLC.

Should you offer the breast whenever baby cries?

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BoraBora · 10/12/2012 20:12

So I know when my baby (6 weeks today!) is obviously hungry (rooting, sucking hands etc), but I've realised that she'll take the breast whenever I offer it (and she's not showing signs of hunger, and she's eaten recently).

Should I just be offering the breast whenever she's crying (which seems to he all the time ) of just when she's showing other cues?

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Chubfuddler · 10/12/2012 20:18

It can do no harm at all to do so. I always did. Bfing is so much more than food - I found it be pretty much a universal cure for a tiny (and not so tiny) baby's problems.

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LikeAVirginMary · 10/12/2012 20:19

I always did too. Some days it was constant cluster feeds, sometimes he could go a couple of honours between feeds. He's tiny - give him what he wants!!

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mummysmellsofsick · 10/12/2012 20:21

I did too. After a few months I learned to distinguish different cries but at first I didn't want to risk leaving him hungry. Most babies want to bf 24 hrs a day at first anyway, it's comforting and their tummies are so small they have to snack a lot.

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BoraBora · 10/12/2012 20:23

I wonder if this is where I've been going wrong, as I've just been thinking not to offer the breast as as she's fed recently she needs something else

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Chubfuddler · 10/12/2012 20:26

Both of my babies went through periods is feeding constantly at that age, partucularly in the evening - classic cluster feeding (which I had never heard if and no mw or HV bothered to tell me about until I rang the out of hours number worried). Perfect excuse for you to put feet up with a magazine.

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BoraBora · 10/12/2012 20:27

Ah - she is a nightmare in the evening! Maybe that's the problem!

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MikeOxard · 10/12/2012 20:30

I do. He might not be hungry but might want comforting. It's not just for food.

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feekerry · 10/12/2012 20:30

I always have. In fact i think this is one if the main reasons bf has gone so well for us. In fact i don't even wait till dd cries. I offer as soon as squeaks..sometimes she feeds, sometimes she just suckles, sometimes she just likes to be close. Now at 8months in she looks at me sometimes as if to say "put that bloody boob away woman!"

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MayaAngelCool · 10/12/2012 20:37

At 6 weeks I'd say yes. Then, as someone else said, over the next weeks and months you'll need to learn to distinguish between the cries. Good luck, and congrats!

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Norem · 10/12/2012 20:38

Always have, have bf 5 dc and offered breast in every situation! Works a treat, they grow brilliantly and I have never had to " walk the floor" with a crying baby. They are all normal weights btw so don't worry about over feeding them.
Hth :)

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HeffalumpsAndWoozles · 10/12/2012 20:45

I do/did with both DD1 (now 2) and DD2 (10 weeks) as like previous posters have said babies bf not just for hunger but also comfort.

You can't over feed a bf baby so I always try to offer boob in the first instance and if it doesn't help at least I know she is definitely not hungry and can try something else. I find that 90% of crying can be calmed by bf as they get the comfort of being close to you and suckling even if not hungry.

Evening cluster feeding is the perfect excuse to snuggle up with your baby, get your DH to wait on you, and read/MN/watch tv.

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MarzipanAnimal · 10/12/2012 20:47

I always did (although check nappy too!). When he got to an age where the breast didn't always get him off into a good sleep when he was tired, then it didn't always work as sometimes they just need sleep! But at 6 weeks I would have thought it's the easiest way to get her to sleep

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SamSmalaidh · 10/12/2012 20:53

God yes! Offer before the crying if you can. I found it was pretty irrelevant whether DS was hungry or tired (or bored or irritable) breast was the solution for everything.

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JingleBel · 10/12/2012 20:53

Yep. I did with both of mine. Means you have a great milk supply too. Iirc 6 weeks is a growth spurt so they may feed constantly for a few days. Exhausting so make sure you eat and drink lots.

Pretty much Feed change wind. Feed change wind and repeat. For the first few months.

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BoraBora · 10/12/2012 20:53

Thank you so much. I particularly like the thought of reframing the evenings to be a pleasant opportunity for cuddling, rather than the nightmare we've come to dread.

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AbbyRue · 10/12/2012 20:54

I do with my 5 week old and it has helped establish BF so well. I did with my other 2 too. If he doesn't want to feed, he just keeps the boob in his mouth so I suppose it's comforting too

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RacHoHoHog · 10/12/2012 20:59

If in doubt, get your boob out.

That is my motto and breast feeding is.going really well.

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TheElfOnThePanopticon · 10/12/2012 20:59

If a baby is hungry, thirsty, tired, in pain, lonely, scared, a bit too hot or cold, feeling sick or a bit bored, then breastfeeding will generally sort the problem out quickly.

If the baby needs a new nappy or change of clothes, then, sadly, boobs will not help.

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Astr0naut · 10/12/2012 21:00

Yes, just do it. I always offer boob before anything else. It's the lazy way out of any problem!

Dd is only feeding once, before bed now she's 13 months, so I actually have to work at stopping her crying at any other point.

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Edma · 10/12/2012 21:03

Oh yes!

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AnaisB · 10/12/2012 21:03

If Ds (14 weeks) is crying through tiredness I help him fall asleep rather than feed him. He does not seem to have mastered the art of suckling without drinking loads so if I feed him too frequently he is sick and ends up with really bad wind - possibly because he is getting too much foremilk.

I could have fed dd whenever she cried without her being sick, but when she was about 12 weeks I started a loose EASY schedule and found it helped me to quickly learn what her cries meant.

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sleeplessinderbyshire · 10/12/2012 21:09

I just offered a boob every time my DD1 squeaked and it worked well. DD2 (now 21 weeks) is a totally different kettle of fish. Screams blue murder like someone is trying to kill her if I offer a boob when she hasn't expressedly demanded it. She is/was a very sucky baby but wants to do all her sucking on a dummy (introduced in desperation when she wanted to suck but on anything other than my nipples after 4 weeks). No harm in always offering but as I have found some babies see it is a source of food only where others quite like the cuddling/snuggling side of things too

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Loislane78 · 10/12/2012 21:16

Yep, i find getting the (.)(.) out works for most things, especially at that age. She might not always be hungry but as the others have said, comforting skin to skin is what she might want as much as milk.

:)

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Junebugjr · 10/12/2012 21:20

Even if mine made a whimper, my boobs came out. I could never distinguish between cries until mine where a lot older - around 6/7 months ish when it's easier to tell.
I tried to get DD1 in a routine at bedtime instead of clusterfeeding and found it stressful. With DD2, after her bath, I just let her stay on the boob for hours clusterfeeding and cuddling while scoffing chocolate and watching TV. Gradually around 4/5 months she stopped clusterfeeding and went to bed at 8pm.
Part of it is mentally accepting they may want to spend hours on your boobs, it's just finding pleasant things to do while your sat there so you don't resent it. May I suggest a Kindle

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Breastfeeding on demand

You can often hear from a nursing mother: "I feed on demand, my baby requires a breast every 3. 5 hours." Or: “I have always fed on demand. In a year, we already had 1 feeding in the evening, and my child calmly refused to breastfeed. Before talking about the demand of the child, it is necessary to find out what modern women mean when they say - "I breastfeed."

Modern mothers consider breastfeeding necessary for feeding their baby. Just for feeding. Breast milk is food, the mother supplies the baby with the nutrients necessary for growth and development. When a baby suckles at the breast, he eats. Breastfeeding makes sense only as a process of supplying proteins, fats, carbohydrates, vitamins and microelements.

During suckling, the baby receives the nutrients it needs with mother's milk. This is the absolute truth. There is another unconditional truth, which is not given any importance in modern society, it is not taken into account and is not considered. Breastfeeding for a child is communication with the mother. We need to figure out how the child understands feeding on demand? Can he understand anything at all? Is there any difference for him how he is fed, for 15-20 minutes after 3. 5 hours or in some other way?

What is on-demand feeding

On-demand feeding of a newborn baby means putting it on the breast for every squeak or search. Squeak and search movements in newborns, even as early as the second or third day of life, begin to appear much more often than after 3.5 or 2.5 hours. The need for attachments increases rapidly, and by the 10-12th day of life, the need to attach to a child may occur 15-16 or more times a day. Applications vary in duration. The baby can fall asleep and sleep while sucking for, for example, 1.5-2 hours. Can release the breast after 1-2 minutes. And then ask her again. Why does a child need such frequent contact with his mother's breast?

That's why. Being in the mother's belly, in a calm, familiar environment, listening to the noises of the mother's body, being in a warm, cramped, confined space, the baby sucked his fist, fingers, loops of the umbilical cord, swallowed amniotic fluid. Learned to suck and swallow. After birth, experiencing discomfort for any, the most insignificant reason, the baby tries to get rid of it. You can get rid of discomfort by getting into the usual conditions of a comfortable stay. The only place where the baby after birth can feel the sensations familiar to him is in the arms of the mother. The only familiar action is sucking. The only familiar taste and smell is the taste and smell of milk and lube in the areola. Milk and lubricant have an odor and taste similar to the taste and smell of amniotic fluid. Therefore, experiencing discomfort, the baby squeaks, or begins to look for an object to suck with his mouth. Ideally, it is immediately applied to the chest. The baby becomes warm, cramped, he hears the beating of his mother's heart, breathing, grumbling in the intestines, he sucks and feels the familiar taste and smell. If such an action happens constantly, the baby gains confidence, no matter what happens, he will solve all his problems with his mother. The place of comfort is now under the breast, and you can suck on the breast.

This whole process is biologically justified. A newborn child does not feel the feeling of hunger, this feeling is not formed in him. It will begin to form at about two months of age. How to feed a creature that does not experience hunger ?! How to encourage him to take some action to get food? This can be done only at the expense of some other incentives. This stimulus for the newborn is constant bodily discomfort, thanks to which he wants to suckle all the time! The most intense, frequent and prolonged sucking in infants is observed in the first two or three months of life. It is in these first months that the main weight gain of the baby occurs.

Feeding in the first month

Baby falls asleep with breast in mouth, sleeps sucking for a while. Falling asleep deeply, lets go of the chest. After sleeping for a while, he wakes up, and is applied on waking. After sleep, he can stay awake for some time, for example, an hour and a half. During wakefulness, he may feel discomfort 2-3 times, for example, from a completely natural desire to pee, and having called his mother for help, having kissed for a couple of minutes, he will do his deeds. Then he will want to sleep, feel discomfort and, kissing his chest, will again fall asleep sucking. After some time, he will wake up and attach again. Then again a little "walk". And after some time, he will fall asleep at the chest again.

The daytime naps of a one-month-old infant feeding on demand vary in duration and number. There can be 4-6 dreams during the day, and they can last from 5-15 minutes to 2-2.5 sometimes 3 hours. "Around" each dream, the baby is applied to the chest, and applied between dreams several times. At night, the child falls asleep at the breast. Usually in the early morning hours, he begins to fuss and apply. In the morning, he almost never fully wakes up. The baby sleeps, from time to time, sucking on his mother's breast. Waking up in the morning, the baby is again applied to the chest. If you count all the attachments that have happened in a baby of one month of age, then approximately 16-20 attachments are obtained. This is how a newborn human cub behaves if it is given the opportunity to behave in accordance with physiological and psychological needs, which, by the way, are genetically determined. The child of the first months of life does not separate his personality from the personality of the mother and from her breast. Mom and her breasts, and everything connected with them, are the universe of the baby and himself.

In most cases, a modern woman, being afraid to “accustom a child to hands”, strives to limit his requests for suckling. A pacifier and a bottle of tea or water come to her aid in this matter. They, too, can be sucked ... The need for sucking seems to be satisfied. But only the need for communication with the mother during suckling is not satisfied, the peculiar chain of mutual assistance and cooperation between mother and baby is destroyed, the formation of maternal affection and concentration is disrupted. Is the difference in the two actions noticeable to the reader: the baby cried, the mother took him, put him to her chest and started rocking him, or gave him a pacifier and started rocking the stroller, even with the words “Why are you crying, my sun?”

The modern woman who gives a pacifier and pumps a stroller is not a bad person deliberately harming an infant. She is simply in captivity of prejudices regarding the relationship between mother and baby. She does not know how to behave correctly, does not know what to do in accordance with the natural needs of the child. If you tell her what the child really needs, she will exclaim in horror: “What is it, don’t let him get away with?!” Indeed, the child of the first months of life must not be let off the hook. For a woman who does not know how to comfortably carry a baby, and who does not know how to feed him in various positions (sitting, lying, standing and even moving), this can be very difficult. Especially if she is not sure of the correctness of her actions.

An action that should become automatic for the mother of a newborn: when the baby cries or shows other signs of anxiety, put the baby to the breast.

What's next?

The baby is growing. A fairly stable rhythm of daytime sleep begins to form in him, and a 3-4-month-old baby behaves quite differently from a newborn. Feeding on demand at this age looks something like this...

  • At three months, the baby has 10-12 feeds during the day and 2-4 at night. There are frequent applications for a short time, but their number is reduced. There may be a long night break in feedings, about 5 hours, but this is very rare. Much more often the night break is 2.5-3.5 hours. By this age, the baby's body is noticeably rounded.
  • At four months, the baby begins to breastfeed noticeably less frequently. The main feedings are associated with sleep: the baby suckles before bedtime, during awakening and during sleep, both daytime and nighttime. In this regard, he has a fairly accurate feeding regimen. And many babies stop breastfeeding when they wake up after daytime sleep, sometimes as early as 2.5-3 months.
  • At five months, the baby has 8-10 daytime feedings and 2-3 nighttime feedings, as well as in the fourth month of life, they are organized around dreams - the baby eats when he goes to bed and some babies suckle when they wake up.
  • At six months, the feeding regimen changes. The most active sucking shifts to the last 2-3 hours before waking up from a night's sleep. The period of daytime wakefulness can be divided into two periods: in the morning, when the baby sucked during the night is rarely applied to the breast, and in the evening, when attachments become very frequent. In total, there can be 7-10 day applications and 3-4 night applications. At this age, the baby begins a period of acquaintance with new food - pedagogical complementary foods. Sometimes there are attachments associated with the introduction of complementary foods, the baby “washes down” samples of new food with mother's milk. But many children do not want to drink complementary foods. When complementary foods are introduced to an on-demand baby, it is never meant to replace feedings with complementary foods. This is practically impossible, because the main feedings of the baby are associated with sleep, and mother's breakfasts, lunches and dinners, during which the baby gets acquainted with new food, are located between the baby's dreams, during his wakefulness.
  • At seven months, the frequency of application is about the same.
  • At eight months, the feeding regimen changes. Since the baby shows high motor activity and is very busy exploring the surrounding space, in the daytime he forgets to breastfeed. In this regard, the number of daily feedings can be reduced to 6-8 times. The baby compensates for the reduction in daytime feedings by increasing the frequency and duration of nighttime feedings up to 6 times.
  • In the second half of the year, babies who stopped breastfeeding when waking up after daytime naps recall this habit again. The baby’s daytime sleep in the second half of life, as well as in the region of a year and older, looks something like this: the baby falls asleep sucking, sleeps quietly for a while, for example 1-1.5 hours, then starts tossing and turning, fiddling, worrying, at this moment the mother lies down next to , gives him a breast and the baby can fill up 10-15-30 minutes sucking. Mom may well use this time for her own rest - lie down, read, while the baby sleeps while sucking. I know my mother, a lover of embroidery, who used this time specifically for embroidery ...
  • Breastfeeding becomes more frequent at nine to ten months. In the daytime, this is 4-6 full feedings and about the same number of attachments for various reasons. The baby has new reasons for attachment. If, during active actions to master the world, the baby fills a bump or gets scared, he calms down with his mother's breast. There may be situations when you can comfort the baby by sitting next to him and hugging him. At night, 4-6 feedings remain, the baby begins to suckle more actively in the morning between 3 and 8 hours.
  • At eleven months, a baby can already have 2-3 complete complementary foods. Initiation to adult food in the mind of a child is not associated with breastfeeding: attachment to the mother's breast is something other than the desire to get enough of the product they like. As a rule, after the baby has eaten, he feels the need to attach himself to the breast. The number of daily feedings remains the same in the child, but the number of short-term attachments increases. There are active mid-morning feedings between 4 and 8 o'clock in the morning.
  • At ten or twelve months, the baby, if he is already walking, can sometimes breastfeed every time he comes to his mother, i.e. about every 15-30 minutes. Attachments around dreams and night sucking persist. Therefore, if a mother says that a child suckles once or twice a day, this means that there is no feeding at the request of the child. There are restrictions imposed by the mother, with which the baby has come to terms. He treats breast sucking like food, sucks on a pacifier or a finger to fall asleep or soothe, or falls asleep just like that, without calming down.
  • At twelve months, the baby is applied in about the same way.
  • At the age of one and a half years, there may already be one daytime nap, so there are fewer attachments associated with sleep. Preserved for morning sucking. The baby is very free with his mother's breasts. Sometimes it happens that he comes up to suck just for fun. For example, like this: he comes up, climbs on his knees, looks into his mother’s face, smiles, starts to swarm in his shirt, gets breasts, smiles at his breasts, sucks for 30 seconds and leaves.

As for the number of feedings per day when feeding a child on demand, their number is almost never less than 12. A newborn has 12 or more attachments, mostly they are all associated with dreams. And a child, say 1.5-2 years old, can also have about 12 attachments, only 3-4 are associated with sleep, and the rest are short-term attachments for various reasons. I suggest to all mothers reading this text - do not count the application, do not notice their duration. Breastfeed your baby as often as he asks, when you feel the need to.

Moms who don't think about breastfeeding without looking at the clock may get the impression that when breastfeeding on demand, the mother can do nothing but feed the baby. This is not true. After the birth of a baby, a mother begins another life, she is called life with a baby. That's all. The child is with the mother, not the mother with the child! Feel the difference! You need to be able to organize your life in a different way, in the first months, of course, the help of loved ones is very necessary. In the tradition of many peoples, it was customary for the first 40 days after childbirth to remove a woman from any housework and household chores, she was engaged only in a child. In some nations, objects that the mother of a newborn touched were considered “unclean”, therefore, they preferred to protect the mother from the rest of the household, allocating her a separate “corner” of the house, where no one bothered her and she did not interfere with anyone. Among the Slavs, such a restrictive custom was called a six-week. By 1.5-2 months, the rhythm of daytime dreams begins to form, and the baby has a kind of “regime”, the mother becomes more free.

For a mother who can't imagine breastfeeding without looking back at the clock, and who is sure that the “right” baby is the baby lying quietly in her crib all the time, feeding on demand will be a complete hassle. It will be much easier for such a mother if she stops looking at the clock and ties the baby to herself with a large scarf or uses a patchwork holder (sling). It will become easier for her if she stops running between the nursery and the kitchen, but takes the baby with her to the kitchen and carries him around the house with her, doing housework, in a box, a cradle, a special chair, if she tries not to put him off often, and pick up as soon as possible, postponing the baby only in case of emergency and not for long.

Breastfeeding is not the same as house arrest. In the conditions of modern society, it is possible to organize the exit of a nursing mother to work from about 6 months of age of the baby. If necessary, you can start working from the age of 4 months, but, of course, it is better not every day of the week and not full time. It is the responsibility of a breastfeeding consultant to help a mother organize her return to work.

Sometimes, when I advise mothers on breastfeeding, I suggest that they forget for a second that they are already living in the 21st century. I propose to return, for example, to the cave and ask what they will do if the child woke up at night, how to calm him down? If you are walking through the forest and trying not to attract the attention of predators, how to make the baby silent? If the child is thirsty, what will you give him? What is the baby used to, for thousands of years of its existence? To the fact that he sleeps on his mother while she wanders through the forest with a digging stick in search of roots, and wakes up when mother stops. Since mom stopped, then there is time to wake up and suck. Therefore, even now the child sleeps well, tied to the mother with a patchwork holder, wakes up when the mother, having done a few household chores, sits in a chair to take care of the baby.

Some mother, reading about the cave, will be offended, saying that she is a civilized creature. But please think. Man, mother's breast and mother's milk have been created by evolution over millions of years. They are made for each other. Baby food has created progress and more recently. The skills of motherhood and breastfeeding have also been lost by our society quite recently. A person is not physiologically adapted to artificial feeding and a pacifier. The mother's breast will not produce enough milk at 6-7 feedings per day. Nature did not know, when creating man as a mammal, that the time would come when the need for breastfeeding would be satisfied by some kind of pacifiers and nipples.

Changes that occur during the formation of the personality of a child who did not have full contact with the mother during prolonged breastfeeding are noted by modern research by psychologists and sociologists. These are changes with a minus sign. It would be better if they were not, these changes.

Breastfeeding is important not only for the baby, it is also important for the mother. During on-demand feeding, the woman's feelings change, a stronger attachment to the baby is formed, the woman becomes more sensitive to the needs of the baby. Deeper affection and understanding are not only preserved in infancy. They persist for life. For clarity, imagine what happens to a woman’s feelings if she tries to “withstand” a child, endures his crying, anxiety. What happens to a woman if she uses the recommendation from one very popular parenting book: "Go to the child if he cries for more than 15 minutes"? Speaking in abstract terms, humanity is interested in reviving the practice of breastfeeding. The revival of this practice is impossible without mothers realizing the true reasons for the child's need for attachment to the breast.

Lilia Kazakova, pediatrician,
leader of lactation and childcare counselors

Tips for calming a crying baby


Crying is a way for a baby to communicate, but despite its naturalness, it's good to try to calm a crying baby. It is logical that parents will have a question: “How to calm the child?” This may seem like a daunting task at times, but understanding the reasons will help you learn how to soothe a crying baby. Remember: you are doing great. We just want to give you some useful tips to help ease your worries.

If you have any questions or concerns about your baby's crying, seek medical advice. Sometimes crying can be a sign of an existing medical condition, so it's best to pay attention to any additional symptoms right away.

Why your baby is crying


Baby crying is not only natural but also expected, especially during the first three months of life. Babies usually cry for an hour every day for the first few weeks. At about six weeks old, your baby may cry for up to two hours a day, and from eight weeks on, again for about one hour a day. However, remember that all babies are different and cry differently! 1

Crying is a way of saying something is wrong. When it comes to learning how to soothe a crying baby, it's important to understand what exactly is causing her anxiety. Your baby may cry if: 1

  • he is hungry;
  • baby has belching or bloating;
  • need a diaper change;
  • he wants to sleep;
  • wants to be picked up or rocked;
  • baby is hot or cold;
  • baby has colic;
  • feels uncomfortable: wants to roll over, presses on diaper or clothes, or tight swaddling interferes with baby;
  • the baby is teething.

If your baby cries for more than three hours a day and more than three days a week, he may be suffering from colic. However, this is not a reason to panic, and there are several ways to soothe a child with colic. Find out here about colic, its symptoms, and how to soothe a baby with colic.

If you think reflux (regurgitation) may be the cause of your crying, you can learn more about the different types of reflux and how to manage it here.

Be sure to contact your child's doctor if your baby seems ill or has the following symptoms in addition to excessive crying: 1

  • fever;
  • shortness of breath or cough;
  • vomiting;
  • diarrhea;
  • rash;
  • crying worse when the child is picked up or moved;
  • increased irritability or lethargy.

How to soothe a crying baby


Once you have ruled out some potential causes of crying, you will have a better idea of ​​how to soothe your baby. The most important thing to remember is not to get upset and stay as calm as possible.

Here are some tips and tricks on how to calm your baby: 2

1. Swaddle your baby.


One of the most useful techniques to soothe a crying baby is swaddling. When doing this, make sure that you do not cover the child's head and do not overheat him. Don't swaddle your baby too tight: swaddling too tightly can interfere with your baby's natural body position, breathing, and blood circulation: your baby may not like it, causing him to cry. Don't swaddle your baby when he starts to roll over, which usually happens around four months of age.

2. Hold the child in your arms and comfort.


When your baby is crying, it's natural for you to want to pick him up. And when your newborn cries for no reason, he probably wants to be picked up. If you're trying to calm your baby at night, try keeping him upright or in a rocking chair until he falls asleep.

Learn more