Foods that can kill your unborn baby
Can eating healthy before pregnancy prevent birth defects?
The foods you eat provide nutrients that are important to
help you be healthy before and during pregnancy. Nutrients are parts of food,
like vitamins and minerals that help your body stay healthy.
Before you get pregnant, it’s a good idea to have a preconception checkup. It helps your health care provider make sure you’re healthy and that your body is ready for pregnancy. Your health care provider also will talk to you about what you should eat to help you have a healthy pregnancy.
How much folic acid do you need before getting pregnant?
Folic acid is a vitamin that every cell in your body needs for healthy growth and development. If you take folic acid before pregnancy and during early pregnancy, it can help protect your baby from birth defects of the brain and spine called neural tube defects (NTDs) and birth defects of the mouth called cleft lip and palate.
To help prevent birth defects, take a vitamin supplement
with 400 mcg of folic acid in it every day at least 1 month before pregnancy
through the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. If you’re at high risk for having a
baby with an NTD, talk to your provider about taking extra folic acid. Your
provider may recommend you to take 4,000 mcg of folic acid each day 3 months
before you get pregnant through 12 weeks of pregnancy.
You also can get folic acid in food.
When folic acid is naturally in food, it’s called folate. Foods that are good
sources of folate are:
- Beans, like lentils,
pinto beans, and black beans
- Leafy green
vegetables, like spinach and Romaine lettuce
- Citrus fruits, like
oranges and grapefruit
- Orange juice (100%
juice is best)
Folic acid is the manmade form of folate that is in fortified and enriched foods
and vitamin supplements. Fortified and enriched means a food has added
nutrients, like folic acid. Look for the word “fortified” or “enriched” on
labels on foods like:
- Breakfast cereal
- Some products made
from a kind of flour called corn masa, like tortillas, tortilla chips, taco
shells, tamales and pupusas
- White rice
What other nutrients are important before pregnancy?
It is important to eat nutrient-dense foods that contain a
variety of vitamins and minerals to help prevent birth defects, including:
- Choline. Choline will help your baby’s
brain and spinal cord develop correctly. It’s recommended that women get 425
milligrams a day before getting pregnant. Without enough choline, your baby may
develop NTDs or cognitive issues. Sources of choline include egg yolks, lean
red meat, fish, milk, poultry, pork, cauliflower, cabbage, kale, broccoli,
Brussels sprouts, beans, and nuts.
- Iodine. Iodine is a nutrient that your
body needs during pregnancy to make thyroid hormones that help your baby’s
bones and nerves develop. It is recommended that women get 150 micrograms of
iodine a day before getting pregnant. Without enough iodine, your baby may have
brain issues. Sources of iodine include table salt (with iodine added to it),
seaweed, saltwater fish, seafood, some dairy products, and fortified cereal and
- Vitamin D. Vitamin D will help your
baby’s bones and teeth grow. All women, including pregnant women, need 600
international units (IU) of vitamin D a day. Good sources are fatty fish like
salmon and milk and cereal that has vitamin D added to it. Your body also makes
vitamin D when your skin is in the sunlight.
- Zinc. Zinc will help your baby grow and
develop properly. Not enough zinc has been linked to preterm birth and a higher
rate of infection. It is recommended that women get 8 milligrams while trying
to conceive. Good sources of zinc include oysters, beef, crab, lobster, pork,
baked beans, fortified breakfast cereal, dark meat chicken, and pumpkin seeds.
Most of the nutrients you need should come from foods. But
taking a vitamin supplement can help you get the nutrients you need to be ready
for pregnancy. You can start taking prenatal vitamins or a vitamin supplement before
you get pregnant. Talk to your provider about what vitamin supplement is good
for you. And, ask about what foods to eat to help you have a healthy
pregnancy—and a healthy baby.
25 Foods That Can Cause Miscarriage in Pregnancy
Pregnancy is the most emotional stage for every expecting mother, and no woman will take any chance with her child's health. A mother's body goes through many changes, and she must ensure to eat healthy foods for pregnancy.Have more questions about Periods, Hair care, Skin care, Weight Management, UTI or PCOS? Schedule a FREE Doctor Consult with Bodywise & speak to an expert from the comforts of your home.
So, while preparing your diet chart, ensure that you avoid a few foods that can cause miscarriage. Pay more attention to your lifestyle, food intake, and quantity of consumption to stay healthy and active.
Let's check out these 25 foods that can cause miscarriage in the first or second trimester.
Foods That Cause Miscarriage
Here is the list of some foods that cause miscarriage:
1. Animal Liver
Although considered highly nutritious, the animal liver is not safe for pregnant ladies. Eating it daily in pregnancy causes retinol build-up, causing harm to the unborn baby. However, eating it once or twice isn't harmful.Have more questions about Periods, Hair care, Skin care, Weight Management, UTI or PCOS? Schedule a FREE Doctor Consult with Bodywise & speak to an expert from the comforts of your home.
It is one of the common foods that can cause miscarriage. Unripe or green papaya contains many enzymes and pus that lead to uterine contraction, causing miscarriage. Due to the presence of enzymes, the uterus prompts to develop spasms, ending in miscarriage. Hence, one should avoid it in early pregnancy.
3. Aloe Vera
Can aloe vera destroy pregnancy? Yes, pregnant ladies should avoid aloe vera juice as it causes pelvic haemorrhage. It results in uterine bleeding, leading to miscarriage. It contains a laxative called anthraquinones that causes uterine contractions.
Consuming pineapple or pineapple juice in the first trimester of pregnancy causes stillbirth. Bromelain in pineapple leads to a contraction in pregnant ladies, causing miscarriage.
5. Sprouted Potatoes
Studies show that Eating sprouted potatoes harm a pregnant woman. It contains solanine which proves harmful for foetal growth.
Consuming caffeine in moderate quantities during pregnancy isn't harmful. Studies show that increased levels of caffeine in pregnant ladies might increase the miscarriage risk or may end up in an underweight baby.
7. Mercury-rich Fish
Women should be extra careful during their first trimester while consuming fish. Some varieties of fish like tuna, marlin, king mackerel, swordfish contain high mercury levels. It affects the developing baby's brain and the entire nervous system, increasing the risk of the immature or mentally unstable baby.Have more questions about Periods, Hair care, Skin care, Weight Management, UTI or PCOS? Schedule a FREE Doctor Consult with Bodywise & speak to an expert from the comforts of your home.
8. Raw or Undercooked Fish
Are you a big fan of sushi? However, shellfish causes several infections, like bacterial, parasitic, or viral infections. Studies show that pregnant woman is likely to get listeria infections, which can pass through the placenta to the baby, causing miscarriage.
9. Processed or Raw Meat
Raw or processed meat contains bacteria like Salmonella, E.coli, and listeria. All these are life-threatening bacteria for the baby. It may even lead to a serious neurological disorder, epilepsy, blindness, and even stillbirth.
10. Raw Eggs
Raw eggs contain Salmonella, causing harmful infections. Its symptoms include stomach cramps, diarrhoea, vomiting, fever, and nausea. Hence, avoid raw egg-content foods that can cause miscarriage. It includes homemade mayonnaise, homemade cake icings, poached eggs, lightly scrambled eggs, etc.
11. Raw Sprouts
Raw sprouts like mung bean sprouts, alfalfa, radish, and clover often get contaminated with Salmonella. The seeds of these veggies require a humid environment, which is ideal for the growth of Salmonella bacteria, causing harm to the foetus.
12. Unpasteurized Dairy Products
It contains harmful bacteria, like Salmonella, listeria, etc. In many situations, these dairy products cause life-threatening issues to the unborn child, like neurological disorders, or even miscarriage.
It is one of the vital things to avoid in early pregnancy. Consuming alcohol during pregnancy causes foetal alcohol syndrome, causing facial deformities, intellectual disability, and heart defects. It even causes miscarriage or stillbirth.Have more questions about Periods, Hair care, Skin care, Weight Management, UTI or PCOS? Schedule a FREE Doctor Consult with Bodywise & speak to an expert from the comforts of your home.
Women should take precautions while consuming drumsticks during pregnancy. Drumsticks contain alpha-sitosterol, which is detrimental for pregnant ladies. Hence, eat it in limited quantities or avoid it in early pregnancy.
Although packed with vital nutrients, one should avoid eating crabs in high amounts during the early pregnancy stages. It causes the uterus to shrink, leading to internal bleeding and even stillbirth. Moreover, its cholesterol level impacts the pregnant woman's overall health.
Many experts do not recommend taking herbs as they contain steroids that affect the growth of the foetus. For instance, the Dong Quai herb contains enzymes that initiate miscarriage or cause premature delivery.
17. Wild Apples
Wild apples have sour and acidic properties that induce uterus contraction, often leading to a miscarriage or premature delivery.
These are the basic ingredients that add flavour and aroma to any food. However, avoid certain spices during pregnancy like garlic, angelica, asafoetida, and fenugreek. It stimulates the uterus, leading to contraction, also causing blood thinning.
19. Junk Food
It does not provide healthy nutrients and is high in calories, sugars, and fats. Moreover, consuming a high amount of sugar during pregnancy causes gestational diabetes, heart ailments, and weight gain.
20. Smoked Seafood
One should avoid refrigerated or smoked seafood, specially labelled as lox or nova. It contains listeria that causes infections, leading to miscarriage.Have more questions about Periods, Hair care, Skin care, Weight Management, UTI or PCOS? Schedule a FREE Doctor Consult with Bodywise & speak to an expert from the comforts of your home.
21. Sesame Seeds
Consuming sesame seeds with honey is dangerous for pregnant women. It provides heat to the body that causes uterine contraction. However, consuming black sesame in the last stages of pregnancy helps natural delivery.
22. Unwashed Fruits and Vegetables
It contains harmful bacteria, causing bacterial infections.
23. Herbal Tea
Some herbal tea contains steroids that can be harmful during pregnancy. Seek a doctor's recommendation if you want to have one.
24. Pre-packaged Salads
It contains listeria contamination, posing a serious impact on the baby's health.
25. Energy Drinks
Energy drinks contain a high level of caffeine. Hence, it is one of the vital foods that cause abortion if consumed in high amounts.
Foods That Cause Miscarriage In The Second Trimester
In the second trimester, a pregnant woman should continue a balanced diet rich in iron, folate, protein, calcium, and Vitamin D. However, here are the foods that can cause miscarriage in the second trimester:
- Soft cheese like blue cheese, feta
- Ready-to-eat seafood and meat
- Raw eggs, fish, and meat
- Unpasteurized dairy products
Other Things To Avoid During Pregnancy That Cause Miscarriage
Here are a few things to avoid during pregnancy:
- Massage and acupuncture: Avoid massaging or pressing points that connect to the abdomen to impact the baby. One should typically avoid massaging in the first three months.
- Painting: Modern paint products have a high risk of fumes and lead. Keep a distance from the renovating house as one may get exposed to the lead, which hampers the fetus's brain development.
- X-rays: The radiation from the X-rays causes physical and mental defects in the baby. Hence, consider other scanning techniques like ultrasound so that harmful radiations do not reach the baby.
Can Cashew Cause Miscarriage?
No, it is entirely safe to consume cashew if you take the necessary precautions. It is rich in essential vitamins and fibre that help fight infections and provide instant energy.
However, if you consume it in high quantities, pregnant women might face gall bladder and kidney issues. It contains oxalates which get concentrated in the body fluids, triggering pregnancy complications.
Can Cucumber Cause Miscarriage?
Generally, it is not advisable to consume cucumber during pregnancy as it may cause certain reactions in women. Doctors suggest avoiding cucumber if a woman has:
- Gastritis and gastric reflux disease
- Chronic Nephritis
Moreover, eating cucumber provides a feeling of bladder fullness, causing frequent urination. It can be discomforting in different trimesters of pregnancy. However, if you want to eat cucumbers, wash them properly, eat them raw, or blend them into smoothies.
Can Watermelon Cause Miscarriage?
Watermelon is a hydrating fruit that provides six calories in 152 grams or 1 cup. During pregnancy, the daily fluid requirement of the woman increases to ensure optimum blood circulation and support amniotic fluid levels.
Watermelon fulfils the fluid requirement of pregnant ladies. Moreover, enhanced circulation and optimal hydration reduce the chance of developing haemorrhoids, constipation, and specific complications during pregnancy. Hence, it is beneficial to consume watermelon during pregnancy.
Can Raw Garlic Cause Miscarriage In Early Pregnancy?
There isn't any official guideline on the amount of garlic dangerous for pregnant women. However, consuming it as a flavouring is generally safe. Consuming large amounts of garlic supplements increases the bleeding risk.
Garlic contains sulphur compounds called ajoene that inhibit platelet formation. Platelets are small blood cells that ensure the body forms clots, helping prevent bleeding. Increased bleeding increases the risk of miscarriage.
A pregnant lady undergoes several hormonal changes that may trigger heartburn symptoms. Research suggests that It may add physical pressure on the growing foetus.
How Many Raw Eggs Can Cause Miscarriage?
Raw eggs do not cause abortion. Raw or undercooked eggs contain disease-causing bacteria called Salmonella, causing food poisoning. If one gets sick due to Salmonella bacteria, one can have a high fever, diarrhoea, dehydration, and vomiting.
In many conditions, these symptoms get so serious that it causes preterm labour or miscarriage. Generally, doctors do not recommend eating raw or partially cooked eggs. Avoid eating any raw or uncooked eggs poached or soft-boiled eggs during pregnancy.
Can Coconut Water Cause Miscarriage?
No, fresh coconut water cannot cause miscarriage. It is a healthy beverage, providing refreshing and hydrating benefits. Even commercially available coconut water is pasteurised, killing harmful bacteria if any.
The cold-pressed or unpasteurized coconut water uses a microfiltration process. It helps remove bacteria and produce a sterile product. It becomes ideal to consume it before the finished date.
Is Papaya good for pregnancy?
No. Papaya generates heat in the body. Therefore, it acts as a laxative that may result in premature labour.
Is Pineapple good for pregnancy?
No. Pineapple contains bromelain that can soften the cervix and might cause bleeding and contraction.
Should we eat sabja seeds during pregnancy?
According to experts, sabja or chia seeds are nutritious and suitable for breastfeeding.
Can I eat guava in pregnancy?
Yes. Guava relieves constipation during pregnancy as it is a powerhouse of soluble fibres.
Are dates good for pregnancy?
Yes. Dates are fully loaded with fibres, vitamins, and proteins. So if you eat dates during the ninth month of pregnancy, it can ease labour pain.
Are grapes good for pregnancy?
Yes. Grapes prevent infections and help with biological changes during pregnancy.
Is banana good for pregnancy?
Yes. During the early pregnancy stage, bananas give relief from vomiting and nausea.
Can pregnant women eat sesame seeds?
No. Sesame seeds are a heat-generating food and can trouble pregnant women, especially if consumed with honey.
Is pomegranate good for pregnancy?
Yes. According to Medical News Today, Pomegranate decreases the placenta's risk of injury.
Ekhator C. N., Osifo U. C.. Abortifacient Efficacy of Moringa oleifera Leave: An Experimental Study on Adult Female Wistar Rats. (American Journal of Biology and Life Sciences) file:///C:/Users/win10/Downloads/1.pdf
Joseph R Hibbeln, John M Davis (2007) Maternal seafood consumption in pregnancy and neurodevelopmental outcomes in childhood (ALSPAC study): an observational cohort study (PubMed) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17307104/
Wenli Ni, November 2018; Maternal periconceptional consumption of sprouted potato and risks of neural tube defects and orofacial clefts - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/pmc/articles/PMC6262956/
CDC, People at Risk - Pregnant Women and Newborns - https://www.cdc.gov/listeria/risk-groups/pregnant-women.html
Juan C Vazquez, 2015; Heartburn in pregnancy - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/pmc/articles/PMC4562453/
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What can not be eaten during pregnancy?
There is a whole list of foods to avoid during pregnancy.
The 12 most dangerous foods for pregnant women include:
1. Seafood high in mercury
2. Unpasteurized milk and juices
3. Chilled meat and deli meats
4. Raw or undercooked meat, poultry, fish, shellfish and eggs
5. Raw sprouts and unwashed raw foods
6. Unpasteurized cheese
7. Energy drinks and excessive coffee consumption
8. Unripe papaya
9. Products with trans fats
10. Products with sugar
11. Soda and sweetened drinks
12. Foods high in sodium
The first eight are foods that are considered unsafe during pregnancy. The last four are the foods you'll want to limit.
1. Seafood high in mercury
Here are four to avoid: swordfish, shark, king mackerel and tilefish.
Advice for pregnant women, those who may become pregnant, and those who are breastfeeding: Avoid eating these fish entirely due to their high levels of mercury. Mercury can damage a child's developing brain and nervous system.
There are many types of low mercury seafood that should be included in your diet during pregnancy. The fatty acids in seafood (DHA and EPA, both forms of omega-3s) play a key role in a child's brain development.
2. Unpasteurized milk and juices
The main problem is listeriosis, a bacterial infection that can be very dangerous for your baby. You are especially at risk during pregnancy because your immune system is suppressed.
Listeria monocytogenes can lurk in unpasteurized milk and dairy products, unpasteurized juice, and other foods, and it can continue to grow even in the refrigerator.
3. Chilled meats and deli meats
Listeria can also be from chilled deli meats such as turkey, ham, roast beef and hot dogs. They are not safe unless you cook them fully.
The same goes for chilled smoked seafood, meat spreads and salads with deli meats.
Canned, shelf-stable meats and seafood are safe to eat, but these foods are high in sodium, so they are not the best choice to eat during pregnancy.
4. Raw or undercooked meat, poultry, fish, shellfish and eggs
The main risks of eating raw and undercooked food are Salmonella bacteria and the Toxoplasma parasite, which can infect your unborn child and cause serious health problems.
Avoid sauces made with raw eggs: Caesar salad dressing, hollandaise sauce, and mayonnaise. If you are preparing food that calls for raw eggs and will not be cooked like a sauce or spread, use a pasteurized egg product.
5. Raw sprouts and unwashed raw foods
Raw sprouts seem to be good, but definitely not suitable during pregnancy. Before the sprouts even grow, bacteria can enter the sprout seeds through cracks in the shell. And since sprouts aren't usually boiled before eating, there's no way to kill bacteria. So avoid raw alfalfa, clover, radish, and mung bean sprouts, which can be found in some sandwiches and salads.
Toxoplasma can also be found in unwashed fruits and vegetables. Rinse the product thoroughly under running water before using. And avoid eating mashed fruits or vegetables, as bacteria can thrive in places where the food has been damaged.
6. Unpasteurized cheese
Like raw milk, unpasteurized soft cheese carries the risk of listeria.
7. Energy drinks and excessive coffee consumption
Up to 200 milligrams of caffeine per day is considered safe during pregnancy.
Do not drink energy drinks during pregnancy. While some contain less caffeine than a cup of coffee, they have been linked to high blood pressure and abnormal heart rhythms. And avoid drinks with "natural" energy boosters like guarana, ginseng, mate, and green tea extract, all of which are stimulants that have not been proven safe to use during pregnancy.
8. Unripe papaya
Unripe (green) papaya contains a latex substance that can cause uterine contractions. The latex found in unripe papaya acts like the hormones oxytocin and prostaglandin, which are involved in the onset of labor. Therefore, it is wise to avoid unripe papaya, which is often found on the menu of Thai restaurants.
9. Foods with trans fats
Trans fats are a concern because not only do they increase LDL cholesterol, they also lower heart-protective HDL cholesterol. And research has linked trans fats to higher rates of endometriosis and infertility.
Foods that may contain trans fats:
Fried foods: while most fast food chains have switched to oils that are not hydrogenated, some still use partially hydrogenated (and trans fats) oils to fry foods such as potato pancakes, cheese sticks and french fries. While you can always ask what kind of oil your local restaurant uses, it's wise to limit your intake of high-calorie and often high-sodium fried foods.
Margarine, frosting and non-dairy cream: Check labels before purchasing.
Biscuit and pancake mixes: companies include these to give the product a light, fluffy texture. Be sure to read labels and check the ingredient list.
10. Foods with sugar
Cookies, cakes, candy and ice cream are obviously high in sugar, but the sweet stuff can also hide in some unlikely places. Added sugar not only contributes to the epidemics of obesity and diabetes, but also offers no nutritional benefits. And if you're predisposed to gestational diabetes, your body may not be able to produce enough insulin to handle all the extra sugar in your blood.
Here's where the added sugar might be hiding:
Bread and rolls: Look out for molasses, high fructose corn syrup, and other sweeteners in these baked goods. While the total grams of sugar probably doesn't exceed 5 grams, wouldn't you be better off spending your sugar allowance on something like a bowl of ice cream?
Frozen meals: frozen pizzas, diet meals and especially Asian-style meals may contain up to 20 g of sugar per serving. If a meal contains more than 10 grams of sugar per serving, skip it.
Salad dressing: There's nothing wrong with dressing your salad to make it taste better, but be careful what you pour over your healthy greens. Some ready-made dressings have 8 grams of sugar per 2 tablespoons. Fat-free varieties may be the worst because they replace fat with sugar or corn syrup to make the dressing delicious.
Snacks (crackers, popcorn, snacks, etc.): even foods that do not taste particularly sweet can have a lot of sugar. Cereal bars can be serious offenders, especially if they have a jam-like filling.
11. Soda and sweetened drinks
It's not just the caffeine that puts cola and other sodas on the pregnancy no-do list, but the high sugar levels in every can. Quench your thirst with water, milk, and 100 percent fruit or vegetable juice.
12. Foods High in Sodium
While we often crave salty foods during pregnancy, especially during the first trimester, sodium is not a pregnant woman's friend. Pregnancy already makes you prone to edema and water retention, and too much sodium only makes it worse. Keep sodium up to 2300 mg per day.
Frozen Meals: Salt is a natural preservative so these foods are usually high in sodium. Some of them reach almost 1000 mg! There are definitely healthier options available these days, so be sure to scan the packaging and look for meals with less than 500mg of sodium.
Long shelf life snacks: Usually consisting of crackers, processed meats and cheese, these foods are loaded with sodium (over 800 mg), nitrates and sugar. You are much better off bringing your own snacks or sandwiches with you when you are at work or on the road.
Canned soup: often contains 900 mg of sodium per serving. But also keep an eye out for soups at national chain restaurants, which may have as much. And packaged ramen noodles have tons of salt and fat.
Bread and rolls: Bread is not usually salty, but salt is almost always added for flavor. One roll can contain more than 400 mg of sodium, while cheese rolls can contain more than 800 mg.
You can determine your due date with our calculator
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5 parental weaknesses that kill the future of our children
All parents make mistakes: someone makes them out of ignorance, someone with good intentions. "O!" shares with you an article by well-known Canadian parenting expert Victoria Prudey, who explained why our kids are bored at school, so impatient, easily disappointed, have no true friends, and most importantly, what to do with all this?
Victoria Pruday, Occupational Therapist, Child Development Specialist
I am a Canadian occupational therapist with 10 years of experience working with children, parents and teachers. Over the years of my professional activity, I have observed in children a frightening trend towards a decrease in social, emotional and academic activity, as well as a sharp increase in the number of cases of learning disabilities, concentration and other disorders.
Today's children come to school emotionally unavailable to learn, and there are many factors in our lifestyle that contribute to this. As we know, the brain is plastic and malleable. Thanks to the environment, we can make the brain "stronger" or "weaker". I believe that, despite all our best intentions, we are, unfortunately, directing the development of our children in the wrong direction. And that's why.
The influence of technology
Using technology (TV, tablet, smartphone) as a free babysitter is not really free at all. Payback is not far off. We pay with our children's nervous system, their attention and their ability to delay gratification until later. Compared to virtual reality, everyday life is boring. When children come to class, they are confronted with human voices and adequate visual stimulation as opposed to the ubiquitous graphic explosions and special effects they are used to seeing on screens.
After constantly being in virtual reality, processing information in the classroom is becoming increasingly challenging for our children as their brains get used to the high levels of stimulation that video games provide. The inability to process lower levels of stimulation impairs children's readiness to tackle academic challenges.
Technology is emotionally alienating our children from their families. The availability of parental emotions is an essential nutrient for a child's brain. Unfortunately, we are slowly depriving our children of this nutrient.
Children get whatever they want, when they want
"I'm hungry!" - "In a second I'll buy you something to eat", "I'm thirsty!" - "Here's a vending machine with drinks", "I'm bored!" - "Play with my phone!" The ability to delay gratification is one of the key factors for future success. We have the best intentions to make our children happy, but unfortunately we are only making them happy for the moment, and unhappy in the long run.
The ability to delay gratification means the ability to function under stress. Our children are gradually becoming less prepared to deal with even minor stressful situations, which eventually become huge obstacles to their success in life.
The inability to delay gratification often manifests itself in classes, shopping malls, restaurants and toy stores the moment a child hears "No" because parents have trained their child's brain to immediately get what he wants.
Children rule the world
This is what I hear from parents all the time: “My son doesn’t like vegetables”, “She doesn’t like to go to bed early”, “He doesn’t like breakfast”, “She doesn’t like toys, but she is great with with his iPad", "He doesn't want to dress himself", "She is too lazy to eat by herself". Since when do children tell their parents how to raise them? If you leave it to them, then all they will do is eat macaroni and cheese and cream puffs, watch TV, play on their tablets, and go to bed at 12 o'clock at night. What benefit do we bring to them by giving them what they are want if we know that is not good for them? Without proper nutrition and a healthy night's sleep, our children will come to school irritable, restless and inattentive.
In addition, we convey the wrong idea to them. They learn that they can do what they want and not do what they don't want. There is no "must do" concept. Unfortunately, in order to achieve our goals in life, we must do what is necessary, and this is not always what we like to do.
For example, if a child wants to be an excellent student, he must study hard. If he wants to be a successful footballer, he must train every day. Our children know very well what they want, but it is very difficult for them to do what is necessary to achieve this goal. The result is unrealistic goals and disappointment.
We created an artificial world for our children. There are no boring moments. When the child calms down, we run to entertain him again, because otherwise we feel that we are not fulfilling our duty to raise children.
We live in two different worlds: they have their own world of "fun" and we have our own world of "work". Why do children no longer help us in the kitchen or with laundry? Why don't they collect and tidy up their toys? This is monotonous work that trains the brain, develops efficiency and the ability to function during periods of "boredom" - the same "muscles" are required, ultimately, for schooling.
When children come to school and need to write something down, they say, “I can't. It's too hard. And it's too boring." Why? Because endless fun does not develop performance skills. Work develops them.
Limited social interaction
We are all busy, so we give our kids gadgets to keep them busy too. Children used to play outside, where they developed their social skills in a haphazard natural environment.
Unfortunately, technology has replaced outdoor time. In addition, technology has also made parents less accessible for social interaction with children.
It is clear that our children are falling further and further behind. .. after all, the digital babysitter is not equipped to help children develop social skills. For further success in life, social skills are essential!
The brain, like muscles, learns and trains. If you want your child to know how to ride a bike, you teach him how to ride a bike. If you want your child to know how to wait, you must teach him to be patient. If you want your child to be able to communicate, you must teach him social skills. The same applies to all other skills. There is no difference!
What to do?
You can change your child's life by training his brain so that your child will be successful in social, emotional and academic activities.
Limit access to technology
In addition, reconnect with your children emotionally: surprise them with flowers, share a smile, tickle them, leave a cute note in their backpack or under their pillow, take them to school for lunch, dance together, crawl together, fight pillows. Have family dinners, play board games in the evenings (see the list of my favorite board games in the previous post), ride a bike, walk outdoors with a flashlight in the evening.
Practice the ability to delay gratification
Let them wait! Explain to your child that boredom is normal. The most creative ideas are often born in times of boredom. Gradually increase the waiting time between "I want" and "I get". Avoid using gadgets in cars and restaurants - instead, teach them to wait by talking and playing. Limit the number of regular snacks.
Don't be afraid to frame
Children need limits to grow up happy and healthy!
- Schedule meals, sleep, gadgets.
- Think about what is GOOD for them, not about what they WANT/DO NOT WANT. Later they will thank you for it. Raising children is hard work. You have to be creative to get them to do what is good for them, because most of the time it will be the exact opposite of what they want.
- Children should eat breakfast and nutritious food. They need to spend time outdoors and go to bed at a certain time in order to come to school the next day ready to learn!
- Turn what they don't like/want to do into fun, into an emotionally stimulating game.