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how many there should be and what they should be
Modern children seem to be bursting with an abundance of toys. But children, having begged for another fun, lose interest in it after a day or two. How many toys are needed for happiness and what should they be, said a children's psychologist Anastasia Borshchenkova
Ekaterina Romanova
journalist "KP"
Alina Makeeva
journalist "KP"
Anastasia Borshchenkova
Child psychologist
Whom I love, I give
- Often, when buying all the toys in a row, adults are guided by their childhood, in which there was no such variety, - our expert warns.
- But it also happens that adults overwhelm the child with gifts in an attempt to compensate for the lack of emotional contact. Like, you see, I love you, I don’t regret anything for you. Come and play, and I'll mind my own business.
Parents cannot communicate emotionally with the child because, when they themselves were children, their father and mother did not communicate emotionally with them. It's such a learned way of love for them. In fact, it is not the number of toys that matters, but the relationship that the child had with the parent while he was small.
- Children used to play with stones and sticks and grew up with a developed imagination. And now the child has many opportunities - but he is not interested in anything ...
- And today it is important for a child to be able to play not only with complex toys, but also with simple materials. Building a house out of sand, finding pebbles and making secrets out of them - it really helps to develop.
For example, children love to hide. Make houses, climb somewhere, build huts, shelters. This is very important for the psyche of the child. You can buy a ready-made folding house in the store and you don’t need to do anything else. Or you can invite your son or daughter to create this house yourself. This will connect the child's imagination, his spatial thinking, motor skills. You need to somehow figure out how to pull the blanket over the chairs, and if it falls, then you need to fix it with something.
This does not mean that a preschooler needs nothing but pebbles when his peers have cars and children's phones, just like real ones. Our world has changed a lot, a child should live in the age of new technologies! However, if from early childhood all toys are high-tech (press the buttons and she will crow), this will not be a fully developing environment. But if there is also space for creativity, this will have a good effect on development.
If there is no way without a tablet
- Now there is such a bias: special attention is paid to the so-called educational toys for little ones, such pieces of wood that cost crazy money, - says the psychologist.
- It needs a balance. If the child is surrounded by everything that is “highly creative”, then there is very little stability in this. The child wants to have some specific character from a fairy tale or cartoon next to him, so that there is an understandable doll with which it is clear how to play. And if he has all the dolls without a face and rags, there is nothing to emotionally rely on.
- At what age can a child turn on gadgets?
- If I am a mom and I need 15 minutes to take a shower and recover, then a gadget is also suitable for this time to keep the child busy. It is important that the mother is in order, in a good emotional state. But we must be aware that any game that is not appropriate for age can contribute to excessive excitement of the child's psyche. A baby of three or four years old is still developing an emotional sphere, he is not able to control his own internal impulses. There are quieter children who will not be harmed by watching cartoons, but there are children who definitely should not be overexcited.
This applies to TV, and excessive incentives in general. Some children, due to the fact that they saw a lot of people in a day, cannot fall asleep from overexcitation. The main thing is not to deceive yourself: if I give a child a tablet at the age of one and a half, then not so that he develops, but so that I, the parent, can exhale. This is not useful, but it is an option in case you are very tired.
This is interesting
The best developing toys for children from 1 to 3 years old
In the first years of life, the child actively knows the surrounding world and this is helped by developing toys
| more |
To learn to want means to understand oneself
- If a parent cannot express his love in another way, then maybe he should give it away with toys? Well, anyway?
- Then the child will adopt this way of expressing love, receiving spiritual warmth.
And then the question is: what will happen when he grows up? The consequences can be different: for example, excessive consumption, when he will buy everything in a row.
There is one more thing. It is important for an adult to understand their inner needs and desires. Then he can build his life, and not go with the flow. A person learns this in childhood through understanding what he wants. For a child, a big job is to isolate: I want this or something else. This is how the formation of one’s own self takes place: “I am the girl who wants exactly this doll and in this particular dress.” But if they buy this doll for me right there, then I don’t have the inner mental work of anticipation, dreams. You have to want a toy for a while before you get it. This largely determines how relationships will be built in adulthood.
Straightforward question: How much do you need?
Experts do not have a clear answer to this question. You can’t say: “Buy two rattles, cubes and five cars - and that’s enough.
” A child may have different interests, different needs. But child psychologists, if you press them against the wall with persistent questions, say that you can focus on the following numbers. Children under three years of age can have 1-2 toys of each type, no more (that is: two rattles, no more than two dolls, two cars, etc.). At the same time, there should not be more than 15 different toys in the field of view of the baby at the same time. Anything over this amount should be removed. And get others instead of rattle dolls with which the child has already played enough.
Please note: those toys that can be in the child's field of vision at one moment are considered. That is, for a bath it can be a separate set, as well as for the street.
What about dozens of pieces? Firstly, for a younger age, they should have large fragments. Secondly, they are recommended to be kept folded in a box, box, bag, taken out for the duration of the game and then put back. Do not buy constructors for growth! The entire constructor counts as one unit.
And the “no more than two” rule applies to him as well.
Read also
How to choose a toy for a child
American pediatricians and development specialists at an early age have prepared recommendations which toys are best given to babies from birth to 6 years old
Parents on the forums tell how they cope with the abundance of toys
Evgenia:
- My child and I have an agreement: I buy him any toy he wants. But one. And only on payday. The son knows that money does not fall from the sky to me, but I earn it. He has time to think about what exactly he wants to get.
Irishka:
- My son is 7 and my daughter is 1.7. I would be mired in toys, especially since the children are of different sexes, if not for the system. Divided everyone's things into four parts. Removed three on the mezzanine.
For two weeks they play with the leftover toys. Then I pack them in a box, take out another one from the mezzanine - and voila, they have "new" dolls and cars!
Mom_Wiki:
- If my daughter asks for a toy, I buy it. But in return, she must give one away: we take it to kindergarten or leave it on the playground - for those children who need it more.
Artur:
- For my sons 7 and 9. I give them pocket money from the age of five so that they save up for their own toys. They can earn extra money by helping me or my mother. Let them learn to handle money and know that everything has its price.
Cover photo: shutterstock.com
Do you think children should have a lot of toys? Share in the comments:
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