Mother feeding milk to baby and husband

"My Husband Wants Me to Breastfeed Him" Is a Real Thing, Experts Say

It’s the suckle that dare not speak its name. In worldwide Google searches, “my husband wants me to breastfeed him” is a more popular search term than “my husband wants to separate” and “my husband wants a baby” combined.

Um, what? Seth Stephens-Davidowitz originally reported these numbers in the New York Times, and most of that breastfeeding search traffic is coming from India. While that doesn’t necessarily mean that breastmilk is becoming a delicacy in India, it does suggest a lot of interest. And it begs the question: is this really a thing?

Absolutely, says Dr. Wendy Walsh, a relationship expert and self-described “dairy queen” who nursed each of her children until they were 3. “Every breastfeeding mother I ever knew said their husband asked to drink it,” she says adding that the father of her child also asked to nurse once in a while.

Drinking human breast milk is enough of a niche fetish that there’s even a whole bar in Japan dedicated to it, where men can either buy shots of milk or get it straight from the nipple. Corky Harvey, who co-founded the Pump Station and Nurtery in Santa Monica, CA, said that when she asked nursing mothers whether their husbands ever tried to breastfeed, two women said they had heard of friends getting this request from their husbands. And one woman said she had been at a party where a man came up and asked if her husband like to “suckle on those breasts.”

“I think with a lot of men, there’s just a curiosity of what it tastes like, and what it would be like to nurse,” said Wendy Haldeman, who co-founded the Pump Station with Harvey. “Certainly men suck on nipples during sex, so they’re gonna get milk.”

But husband breastfeeding can be as much about utility as curiosity. “If the milk is backed up in the breast, and it’s very painful, and sometimes the baby can’t get it out and the pump can’t get it out,” she says. “And there have been times when the dads have been successful at clearing the blockage.” She added that the fathers’ teeth sometimes make this a bit complicated.

None of the lactation experts or OB-GYNs we spoke to said they had noticed a real adult breastfeeding trend in the United States, but they also weren’t particularly surprised to hear that it was a common search query.

“If you put women who are nursing together with partners who are having sex, then it’s bound to happen,” said Felina Rakowski-Gallagher, founder and president of the Upper Breast Side lactation center in New York City. “And if it’s bound to happen and there are no negative consequences, maybe it’s something that Mother Nature intended.”

But if asked, most American men say they’re definitely not into drinking milk directly from their wife’s breast. George Silva, a 42-year old banker from Caracas, Venezuela told me he “never considered” tasting his wife’s milk while she was nursing their two children, now 8 and 5. “I never heard of a man who wanted to try it,” his wife Lisa said.

“I had no urge whatsoever,” said Anthony, a 43-year-old New York wine salesman who asked that his last name not be used. “And there was tons of it.”

Perhaps husband breastfeeding is a global phenomenon that hasn’t caught on in the United States yet. “It’s happening around the world, not just in India, but in China and Europe” said Dr. Diane Spatz, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania School of Nursing who also works at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. “Men think, ‘oh there are all these health benefits of human milk, so if I’m a man, and I want to make myself healthier, then this is what I’m gonna do,'” she said, adding that the effects of breast milk on adults have not been extensively studied.

And obviously there’s a difference between an occasional sip and regular feeding. “My concern about it is that if this is happening, then the baby might not be getting access to the mom’s own milk,” says Spatz.

But even if this is happening in India, as the search numbers suggest, Indian women are hardly nursing their husbands in the streets. “This is completely new to me, I don’t see that as a common phenomenon in India” said Effath Yasmin, a Lactation Consultant who runs Nourish & Nurture Lactation Care & Parenting Education in Mumbai, India. “But we’re from a very conservative culture and women perhaps would not approach professionals to discuss about this. That could be why they’re maybe looking for it on the internet.”

Some experts say that adult breastfeeding might also have an element of jealousy to it, and that the breastmilk fetish might come from the fact that the breast’s sexual and nutritional functions are getting confused. “The breast has a day job and a night job,” Dr. Walsh says. “The breast used to be the man’s play-toy, and suddenly the baby is coming in and playing with daddy’s favorite play-toy.”

“Is it bad?” she asked. “Who cares?”

Write to Charlotte Alter at [email protected].

Breastfeeding for Partners | University Hospitals | Northeast Ohio

Congratulations! Your partner has chosen to breast feed. Your involvement during the weeks following the birth of your baby is important. Here are some facts to help you support mother and baby during this time.

Breastfeeding Benefits for Your Baby

Breast milk is the perfect food for babies and contains all the nutrients your growing your growing baby needs.
Reduces rates of infection. Human milk and colostrum (the early milk) contain antibodies to help fight infection. Breast fed babies have lower rates of:
- Diarrhea
- Ear infections
- Respiratory infections
- SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)
- Diabetes
- Some childhood cancers
- Obesity (overweight)
Breast milk is very important for premature babies. It helps to protect them from infection and aids in their growth and development.

Breastfeeding Benefits Your Partner

Helping to decrease the blood lost after delivery
Decreasing the risk of certain cancers such as breast cancer
Decreasing the risk of Type 2 diabetes

Breastfeeding Is

Economical and costs less than formula feeding. Formula costs $2,000 (or more) per year depending on the type of formula used.
Convenient because breast milk is always the right temperature, and does not need any special preparation or equipment.

The American Academy of Pediatrics Recommends

Breastfeeding exclusively for the first 6 months. After 6 months, continued breastfeeding with the addition of other foods for at least one year or longer as mom and baby desire.

What Are Normal Feeding Patterns for Breastfed Babies?

Your baby will tell you he or she is hungry by giving “feeding cues” (bringing his or her hands to mouth or face, making sucking movements, rooting or turning toward anything that touches baby’s lips or face, darting tongue in and out and baby actively moving or wiggling body).

Because breast milk is quickly and easily digested, your baby will want to nurse frequently, at least, 8 to 16 times or more in 24 hours.

Some babies will cluster feed, or eat hourly, several times in a row. This does not mean your partner does not have enough milk.

How Can I Support My Partner While She Breastfeeds?

Help your partner into a comfortable position.
If your baby is sleepy, wake baby by tickling or unwrapping, and bring baby to mom for feeding.
Help with housework, such as dishes, laundry, preparing snacks/meals, and cleaning.
Answer the phone or door if mom is feeding.
Help with baby care, such as bathing, diapering, rocking, and playing with your baby. Help care for older children.
If your baby is in the hospital: help mom with cleaning pump parts, delivering breast milk to the hospital and spending time holding baby skin-to-skin.
Tell her you are proud of her for breastfeeding and offer encouraging words like, “You can do it”.
Be supportive of your partner’s choice to breast feed by explaining the benefits of breastfeeding to well-meaning family and friends who may not understand the benefits of breast milk.

Sexuality and Breastfeeding

Your partner may not initially have the same interest in sex as before the baby was born. This is true even for women who are formula feeding.
Avoid sexual relations until your partner has healed and talks with her healthcare provider about birth control.
Your partner’s vagina may not be as moist or slippery during intercourse. There are products which will improve vaginal slipperiness/moisture which are available at any pharmacy or grocery store.
The hormones involved in the process of breastfeeding are also involved during sexual response. Women may feel sleepy, relaxed or sensual while breastfeeding.
Milk may leak from your partner’s breasts during arousal. It will help if she breastfeeds your baby before sexual intercourse.
Remember, there are other ways to share your love such as, hold hands, cuddle, etc.
Breastfeeding may decrease the risk of pregnancy and delay menstruation, but it is not a reliable form of birth control.

Breastfeeding and Modesty

You or your partner may feel uncomfortable at the thought of your partner’s breasts being exposed while breastfeeding.
With practice, your partner will soon be able to nurse the baby discreetly, so that even persons nearby won’t know your partner is feeding the baby unless she wants them to know.

A Final Word to Partners

Having a new baby is a wonderful and exciting time.
If you feel jealous or angry, talk about your feelings.
You will be able to take better care of your partner and new baby if you take good care of yourself!
Remember, the first few weeks are the most challenging.

Works cited

Lawrence, Ruth A. & Lawrence, Robert M. “Breastfeeding, A Guide for the Medical Professional.” Eighth edition, ELSEVIER, 2016.

The dangers of breastfeeding promotion

Claire Wilson
BBC Future

12 May 2017

Image Credit, iStock

Breastfeeding certainly has many benefits. However, the pressure sometimes placed on women through breastfeeding campaigns of all kinds, including state-sponsored ones, carries potential dangers. Browser BBC Future explains why mothers should have free choice.

When Suzanne Burston of Chicago was expecting her first child, she was determined to do the right thing, including breastfeeding her son.

"I even took breastfeeding courses," says the woman.

But after a few days it became clear that the baby could not breastfeed properly, and Suzanne had to express milk and bottle feed the baby.

What does it mean to be a good mother in today's world?
Why childbirth is so difficult and dangerous
Russian woman who gave birth to 69 children: truth or fiction?
Is it possible to determine the sex of a child by the size of the mother's belly?

This procedure took several hours every day, leaving the woman little time for herself. Mental and physical exhaustion led to postpartum depression.

Susanne's son also did not feel well, he had skin rashes and bloody diarrhea.

The doctor said that it could be caused by an allergic reaction of the body to some foods in the mother's diet and suggested trying hypoallergenic milk formula.

Literally two days later, the baby's digestion improved, and all unpleasant symptoms disappeared.

It's good that everything ended like this, but remembering his suffering, Burston is indignant. Why put pressure on mothers like that? In her opinion, "the role of breastfeeding is greatly exaggerated."

Skip the Podcast and continue reading.

Podcast

What was that?

We quickly, simply and clearly explain what happened, why it's important and what's next.

episodes

End of Story Podcast

Exaggerated? Sounds pretty weird. "Breastfeeding for the baby is the best option," the WHO, UNICEF and many other respected medical organizations advise unanimously.

They point out that for the first six months of life, babies should be exclusively breastfed, as this has huge health benefits for both mothers and their newborns.

Breast milk is considered so beneficial that women are advised to breastfeed until the child is one or even two years old.

Recently, however, the thesis "breastfeeding at any cost" has been increasingly questioned.

Social activists, doctors and scientists argue that if the process of breastfeeding is not easy for a woman, it can have negative consequences.

In addition, some women are physically unable to produce enough milk.

If such a child's health is not addressed in time, it can lead to dehydration, sometimes even with the risk of brain damage.

The big question is not "breast or formula" but whether the baby is getting proper nutrition, freedom of choice advocates say.

"We hear a lot about the benefits of breastfeeding - great, but also talk about the risks and let women make their choice," says Amy Tater, a former US midwife and author of Push Back, in which she harshly criticized the movement for a natural approach to motherhood.

What do the facts testify to? What do the research results say?

Image copyright, Getty Images

Image caption,

Before the benefits of breastfeeding became apparent, doctors and nurses actively promoted formula milk

Official attitudes towards breastfeeding today are very different from what they were in the past. When formula milk gained popularity in the first half of the 20th century, formula manufacturers advertised their products claiming that formula was better than breast milk.

Health workers discouraged women from breastfeeding, considering it old-fashioned or the lot of the lower class.

Now this seems at least strange, because we know that breast milk contains a huge amount of useful substances, in particular, antibodies to many bacteria.

In addition, the composition of milk changes from day to day, meeting the needs of the child's body in various trace elements. Even during one feeding, at first the baby receives more watery milk, which quenches thirst.

There is another issue that highlights the benefits of breastfeeding. The mixture is usually available as a powder to be diluted with water, and in poor countries there is sometimes no access to clean drinking water or the ability to boil it.

Therefore, due to the living conditions, women cannot use the product correctly. They have to use water of dubious purity or pour the mixture into unsterilized bottles.

By the early 1970s, the public around the world began to suspect that manufacturers of dry formulas for infant feeding, vigorously promoting their product in Third World countries and convincing mothers that artificial feeding was preferable to natural, were deliberately distorting the facts.

Anti-formula activists have argued that artificial baby food contributes to child suffering and even sudden death - especially in poor families.

As a result, this led to a boycott of the products of one of the largest baby food manufacturers, Nestle.

Today, in many countries (including Britain - Rev. ) advertising of breast-milk substitutes is prohibited, and medical personnel strongly recommend breastfeeding to parents.

At some point, Burston felt that she was being judged for not breastfeeding her baby. And then she started a blog called Fearless Formula Feeder to support other women in a similar situation.

In the comments on the blog, women told how they suffered from postpartum depression due to the pressure that was put on them.

Image copyright iStock

Image caption

Not all moms get enough breast milk after giving birth

Of course, many people enjoy breastfeeding. However, there are women for whom this process turns into real torment. And this only exacerbates the already existing difficulties of young parents - such as lack of time for themselves and lack of sleep.

Theoretically, a husband can help his wife feed her baby with expressed breast milk from a bottle, but, firstly, not all women can express milk, and secondly, some babies refuse a bottle. And then the burden of feeding falls entirely on the mother.

"Physical exhaustion is bad for mental health," Burston says. "I've heard a lot of horror stories. Some women were just on the verge of suicide."

And there are women who are simply physically unable to fully feed their child with their milk.

Women are usually told that this rarely happens. For example, the website of the National Health Service of Great Britain notes that "almost all women are able to produce milk."

However, according to a study by Marianne Neifert of St. Luke's Hospital in Denver, the reality is that one in seven women does not have enough milk to adequately feed a child.

Even women with good lactation do not begin to produce milk until a few days after giving birth. And in these first days, the baby may develop dehydration or jaundice - as a side effect of a lack of milk.

Barts Health London pediatrician Sasha Howard has seen many cases of dehydration in exclusively breastfed babies.

"They had to be supplemented with formula from a bottle or a nasogastric tube. And some were even given IVs," she says.

In some, although rare, cases, dehydration can lead to brain damage and death.

Ten years ago, if there were problems with breastfeeding, the medical staff suggested using formula.

However, hospitals in many countries are now following UNICEF guidelines and actively encouraging breastfeeding. In the postnatal wards of these hospitals, milk formula is stored in locked cabinets - just like, for example, morphine, which is sold only by prescription.

Image copyright, iStock

Image caption,

Mothers can feel guilty about bottle feeding their baby instead of natural feeding… "says Trish McEnroe, Executive Director of Baby-Friendly USA.

She notes that in the past, doctors, regardless of the mother's wishes, would take the baby from her immediately after birth and give him a bottle. The goal of the program is to end this practice, which has interfered with the natural feeding process of newborns.

When a baby is artificially fed, he suckles less often, and the woman's milk supply decreases and the baby is deprived of many nutrients, says McEnroe. But numerous studies have proven that breastfeeding protects the baby from infectious diseases and allergies, and also increases the IQ.

True, this argument has weaknesses. First, formula supplementation has not been proven to interfere with breastfeeding. Milk will not disappear if formula is given once or twice a day.

Many women successfully combine breast and formula feeding for many months. "For some it's the best option," admits McEnroe.

Second, it is unclear whether the benefits of breastfeeding are really that significant. There are doubts about the reliability of the results obtained in the study of this problem.

Since breastfeeding is a very personal matter, scientists cannot divide the subjects into groups and force them to feed their babies only in a certain way.

Therefore, the only way is to observe the feeding process and evaluate the results afterwards.

Such studies do show an association between breastfeeding and good health, but this has not yet been proven.

Of course, we can say that running shoes improve physical fitness. Yes, there is some connection, but there is also a main factor - regular training.

When it comes to breastfeeding, income and education can be an important factor. Today, breastfeeding is more common in high-income families, both because they adhere to doctors' recommendations and because mothers can afford to go on extended maternity leave.

Wealthier people are also healthier for a variety of reasons unrelated to breastfeeding, such as smoking less and drinking less alcohol.

So it's no surprise that breastfed babies grow up healthier. It's just a sign of the middle class.

So, in one American study, scientists observed families in which one child was breast-fed, and his brother or sister was fed formula.

The researchers were unable to prove that natural feeding gave the child a significant advantage over "artificial" feeding.

However, there are still advantages in certain situations. Breast milk contributes to the formation of healthy microflora in the intestines of a premature baby, and also reduces the risk of developing serious infections, such as sepsis.

Image copyright, iStock

Image caption,

Breast milk reduces the risk of severe infections

Breastfeeding reduces the risk of infections in the first year of life and in developed countries. These data are confirmed by objective studies.

Breastfed babies are less likely to get respiratory viral infections and diarrhea.

However, this effect disappears immediately after breastfeeding is stopped, and therefore the long-term health benefits that breastfeeding advocates speculate about are unlikely to exist.

"If you ask the teachers of any kindergarten to guess which of the children in their group was breastfed and which was formula fed, they won't be able to tell," Burston points out.

Some will say that since we know about the certain benefits of breast milk, there is nothing wrong with exaggerating them a little - for the sake of advertising breastfeeding.

However, this approach calls into question the ability of every woman to make the right decision for herself. Medicine should not be paternalistic, much less coercive.

No one has the right to misinform people when they make such a difficult and personal decision. Only the woman herself can weigh the pros and cons, realizing how such a choice will affect her mental and physical health or the financial situation of her family (if she is in a hurry to go to work after the birth of a child).

After all, if a woman works full-time, even from home, breastfeeding her baby exclusively is very difficult.

Countless brochures and posters stress that breastfeeding is free, but this is only true if the mother can afford to take parental leave.

In the US, for example, women take such leave for an average of 10 weeks, and almost a third return to work almost immediately after giving birth.

The current promotion of breastfeeding certainly has its advantages. There are more opportunities to help women who have problems with lactation. There is a lot of talk in society that no one should judge a woman for breastfeeding in public.

But activists like Suzanne Barston want women to be free to make their own choices and not judged by anyone.

You can read the original of this article in English on the website BBC Future .

Is it worth breastfeeding children until the age of five or even longer?

May 31, 2018

Image copyright Getty Images

Should children be breastfed until the age of five or even longer?

29-year-old Englishwoman Emma Shardlow Hudson, who breastfeeds her five-year-old daughter and two-year-old son, sometimes at the same time, says it is good for their health and that they very rarely get sick due to "the presence of antibodies in the milk. "

The UK National Health System advises mothers to breastfeed their babies for as long as they both want to.

Generally, women are advised to continue breastfeeding for only the first six months and then gradually add solid foods to their baby's diet.

Photos of breastfeeding Models caused hot disputes

The politician first fed the baby in the Australian parliament

Pregnancy and childbirth in Britain: Free and without a doctor

British are not up to the chest

in Britain near Britain near Britain near Britain near Britain near Britain near Britain near Britain near Britain near Britain 80% of mothers, following the recommendations, begin to breastfeed their newborns after childbirth, but many stop doing this after a few weeks.

Only about a third of six-month-old babies are still getting their mother's milk, and by the first year of their life this figure drops to 0.5%.

The UK has one of the lowest rates of women breastfeeding in the world, according to a 2016 international survey.

Experts say that many women simply find it difficult to start breastfeeding and often don't get the hands-on help they need in the first days after birth and with their first child when they're not yet breastfeeding.

In addition, many women feel uncomfortable doing this in public places and stop breastfeeding and switch to artificial feeding.

Is there anything better than breasts?

Experts agree that breastfeeding is good for the health of both the baby and the mother.

Breast milk protects the infant from infections, diarrhea and vomiting, and reduces the risk of obesity in adulthood.

For mothers, breastfeeding reduces the risk of developing breast and ovarian cancer in the future.

All this is good, but still - until what age should a child be breastfed?

At the moment, there is not enough scientific evidence to answer this question unequivocally, so only general recommendations are offered to women.

"It is ideal to breastfeed a baby, along with other foods, until at least the start of the second year," says the UK National Health System website.

Image copyright, Getty Images

Image caption,

After the first six months, solid foods other than milk can be gradually introduced to the baby

The World Health Organization believes that breastfeeding should continue at least until the baby is two of the year.

However, Dr. Max Davey of the British Royal Institute of Pediatrics and Child Health believes that there should be a limit to everything, and it is not worth continuing breastfeeding when it no longer provides any benefits.

"By the age of two, a child should be getting all the nutrients it needs from a normal diet, after that age, there is no additional health benefit from mother's milk," he says.